Happy Surgery Day

We are here.
Surgery day.
Ugh.

He gets the Irish from me ;-D

Jason and I feel like old pros at this now. All the feelings surrounding one of our kids having surgery  are familiar. Perhaps even...  not as intense as the first surgery. For us.

Multiply that intensity by ten thousand for the little man though.

He has been STRESSED out beyond belief. And in him that fear and anxiety looks like constant chat-chat-chattering and not sleeping and crying aLOT. We have been talking about surgery all week. Unfortunately he knows too much of what to expect when he wakes up. That's so sad.

David's one request was to have a grape scent put in his anesthesia mask. I think we have had bubble gum and maybe cherry before. So when the anesthesiologist called last night (I love the pediatric anesthesiologists that our plastic surgeon uses just wanted to share), I special requested grape scent. And he chuckled and said of course he would make sure he brought the grape just for David.

Awesome. Any little bit to help the little man.

We have two big prayers on the morning of this big surgery... We especially want David to be OK emotionally, and we want the surgery to be successful. No do-overs. No failed anythings. And with this surgery affecting the back of his throat, we want him to maintain an awesome airway after surgery.

Because airways rock.    !

One of our nieces is doing a surgical tech internship at our hospital so I may see her today :)
And one of our cousins works at the hospital. I may see her today too :)
Which is really awesome because I will take David down today by myself. And it's always nice to see a familiar face while you are at the hospital and your kid is getting sliced and diced. Trust me. It's really nice. Comforting. Like a big hug.

ETA to surgery: 5 hours

I'll be updating as we go along.

(((hugs))),
chris

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
    will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
    he is my God, and I trust him.
³ For he will rescue you from every trap
    and protect you from deadly disease.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers.
    He will shelter you with his wings.
    His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
                   Psalm 91:1-4

The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
    I will protect those who trust in my name.
¹⁵ When they call on me, I will answer;
    I will be with them in trouble.
    I will rescue and honor them.
¹⁶ I will reward them with a long life
    and give them my salvation.”
                    Psalm 91:14-16

Random Pictures

David playing soccer...
When I think of where he was 2 years ago vs. now...
praise God

D playing soccer

Remember construction in the backyard last year?
Apparently the front yard was jealous of the backyard...

Sammy on Eva :)

David on Sera

Josh on no horse :)

Sammy on Sera

David finding an Easter egg at Grandma's house

The best pic we have of us at the zoo.
Really, it is.
Josh is pretending to hold up the giraffe hehe

And we are adding another two eyes to our house soon.

(((hugs))),
chris

The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it.

The world and all its people belong to him.

                         Psalm 24:1

Booger Cameras Suck

But in spite of that our poor little baby is so brave and compliant. He did amazing.

One thing I didn't realize is the camera is only in for a couple minutes. Duh of course perhaps you are thinking... or maybe that was the voice in my head after we were done. David had the camera up his nose for maybe 3 minutes.

They sprayed him with nose numbing spray, but the stinkin' 85 foot long camera tube scope still hurt.

The ENT doc and our SLPs got a really good look back in there, and little D will need the p-flap surgery. His muscles look good and his throat is not too wide so that's good news. His soft palate will need to be lengthened back. And they will clip his slightly tongue-tied tongue while they are in there.

There is 2-1/2 hours scheduled for this surgery.

God is good.

He has surrounded us with so many people who support us. Who pray for us. Who love us.

Thank you all.
We thank God for each of you.

We are loving the spring snow!

This week we are playing in the snow and worrying and obsessing about focusing on staying healthy, getting rest, eating well, eating Tums and loving on David. Because he is stressed out beyond belief. Because he has been through this, and he is hip to the surgery jive...

He knows what he will feel like when he wakes up.
Like total crap.
It breaks this Mama's heart.

Praying that this surgery on Friday will only help our son and then we can coast sans surgeries for a few years.

(((hugs))),
chris

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.        Jeremiah 29:11-13

Booger Camera

or you could call it a nasal endoscopy if you want to get all technical up in here.

Ya, I prefer "booger camera" too :)

David will have a scope with the booger camera on Friday. Our ENT will put a tube-like camera up into D's nose and snake it back over his soft palate, and when the camera is in place David will be asked to say certain sounds so our ENT can get some good movies of how D's soft palate is working.

Oh and yep, he's awake for all of this. I get that question a lot.

Our ENT, our speech pathologists, and our plastic surgeon will all want to see this booger camera video. Any ideas on what we should title the movie? "Boogers Gone Wild"? "BoogerHouse"? "Attack of the Killer Boogers"? "Blazing Boogers"? I guess we will have to preview it to pick the best title ;-)

BTW, this nasal endoscopy camera doodad is probably like a $500,000 piece of highly technical, specialized equipment that you need a separate degree in order to operate... ya but I still like to refer to it as "booger camera".

Next Monday we go to our most favoritest plastic surgeon for D's pre-op appointment, at which time he tells us how he wants to proceed with slicing and dicing our son. The slicing will happen on Friday.

We know David needs some sort of pharyngeal flap surgery (a p-flap as they say). This surgery should reduce his hypernasality and allow him to say more sounds properly which will increase his intelligibility. He has VPI (velopharyngeal insufficiency):

Velopharyngeal insufficiency (VPI) is a disorder resulting in the improper closing of the velopharyngeal sphincter (soft palate muscle in the mouth) during speech, allowing air to escape through the nose instead of the mouth.

During speech, the velopharyngeal sphincter must close off the nose to properly pronounce strong consonants such as "p," "b," "g," "t" and "d."

So the problem could be that his soft palate isn't long enough, or that there is an issue with the muscle in the soft palate, or that the sides of his throat are too wide. The booger camera will show what the issue is exactly, and then our team can figure out how to fix it.

*****insert Mama's full-disclosure worry moment here******
So as a parent of kids who have multiple surgeries a-happenin', I have found a pattern in my worrying-ness.

A few weeks ahead of the scheduled surgery, I start stressing about germs. (so I am deeeeeeep in this stage now) Germs and congestion and even a little coughing mean delayed surgery.

"Get your hands out of your mouth!"
"Don't touch that!"
"Wash your hands. Now! I SAID NOW!!!"
And our kids walk around smelling like hand sanitizer for a few weeks.
And I pour immune booster stuff and vitamins and Emergen-C down their throats every day.
And my head spins around occasionally and I vomit on the wall.
And Tums are Mama's happy pills.

And if you remember, last summer (at least the first half or so) sucked for us. So I realllllly don't want D's surgery delayed until summer.

And this surgery is dependent on the info from the scope, and for this scope we need the obturator to be fitting properly. So I am also worried about losing/breaking/aliensabducting/bending the obturator. Because if we don't have the scope done, we can't have surgery next week, and everything is delayed. And we had to wait for the scope in order to have the most wonderful cleft clinic SLP along for the ride... And our private SLP is coming along too (it will be like a regular PAR-TAY in the booger camera room I tell ya), and so in order to reschedule all these very most special people who knows how long that would take.

......deep abdominal breaths, Chris....in...out...in...out...

So please pray that the obturator stays in mint condition until after 3pm on Friday.
And please pray that D stays healthy until after a couple days after surgery at least.

To recap,
this Friday, booger camera
next Monday, pre-op with plastic surgeon
next Friday, D's p-flap surgery

Oh, and as usual I will be updating this blog on surgery day as we go along mostly for our family and friends who are thinking and praying for David that day.

(((hugs))),
chris

Give your burdens to the Lord,
and he will take care of you.
He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.

Psalm 55:22

One of My Fears for Our Munchkins

I am learning that raising a child with obvious differences is a whole different ball game.

And I am aware that our differences aren't the hugest differences that people deal with.

And I ended that sentence with a preposition. And made up an adjective.

Anyhoo...

I am not talking about all the adoption-related loss and attachment and fear and anxiety stuff. Those are mega-huge in our little world, but are not the obvious differences.

And I am not just talking about our family's racial differences. Those are obvious too. We get looked at everywhere we go. Remember the mean staring people? We don't get that so much anymore. But we do turn some heads. We don't match, so I get it.

But our two youngest children have cleft issues, which means that they have visible facial scars and they can be difficult to understand when they talk. David's scar especially gets noticed, and although Sammy's scar is less obvious his mouth and nose are not symmetrical.

I worry about a few things... well a billion things that keep me up at night but let's just share one here, OK?

I worry that people will think our cleft-affected kids are stupid.

There, I said it.

I worry that our kids will be perceived to be less intelligent (in spite of the racist "they are Asian so they are smart" comments) (yes, yes it IS racist) because of their speech differences. Our friends and family might disagree with me because they can understand most of what our boys say, but I am with our munchkins most of the time. I see how people react as soon as they ask one of the munchkins a question and the munchkin answers. So often after the munchkin speaks, the asker will pause... and their smile will drop a smidge, and they will just stare with their mouth open at the answering munchkin. And I will translate so our kids don't feel bad. I don't want them to become self-conscious of talking. David already will fall back on answering with sign language (and many times the asker has the same puzzled look because David doesn't understand that not everyone knows sign language), or he won't even try to talk, but will just give a "thumbs-up" sign. People think the thumbs-up sign is so cute. I don't. I know he is not talking because he is embarrassed that he can't speak intelligibly and be understood. It breaks this mama's heart.

But our munchkins have come so very far since we met them. Yay God!

Have you ever known a really smart person with cerebral palsy who couldn't speak perfectly clearly? Or a really amazing person with a really heavy accent? That's what I'm talking about. The assumptions people make when a person can't speak clearly. The person with c.p. could be equal in intelligence but they could be perceived to have cognitive delays based on their speech.

So we work on our speech sounds. A lot. Like alot a lot. I should do more one-on-one drills like our private speech therapist wants us to, but I do so much incidental focus on the speech sounds she is working on -- and I think it is still helping. And I am the only adult in our house who works on speech with our kids. Some days it feels like a monumental task, and I get worn down and discouraged by sloppy talk.

Speech articulation work is an all-day, every day affair.

It is exhausting.

And frustrating.

For everyone.

David will probably have another surgery that will probably have a pretty intense recovery (again) in our near future, and that doesn't even seem so bad compared to our articulation work...

Praying that the next surgery (stay tuned for updates!) for David will help him make tremendous improvement in his speech intelligibility. And praying that Sammy continues to make great strides in his speech.

Praising God for his goodness and grace in our little world!

(((hugs))),
chris


Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?
              Luke 12:25-26

Good Morning

4:27am  "MEOW MEOW MRREEEEOOOOWWW!!!!", says our old, big orange cat Killer.

Since my sister is downstairs I can't put him in Kitty Jail (aka downstairs bathroom).
And Jason has an interview this morning so I can't let Killer continue to wake the rest of us up.
So I get up and feed the cat.

4:28am (while feeding the cat) Max the dog is excited to see me, so he prances around on the wood floor (think sista sleeping in basement) and runs up and down the hall thumping his big black lab tail on the wall (behind which the children are sleeping in their bedroom).

So I let Max outside to run around and do his business.
And I wait.

4:32am I let the dog back in, then proactively decide to take #2 to the potty, in hopes that his bladder won't wake him up sometime in the 5:00 hour.

4:34am I get back in bed.

4:42am #3 starts moaning and crying. I take him to the potty, in hopes that he won't wake up again during the 5:00 hour.

4:44am I get back into bed.

4:47am #3 starts moaning and crying and kicking the wall. I go in and remind him that everyone is sleeping and he needs to close his eyes. I stand over him watching him, and remind him to close his eyes about 10 times as they keep fluttering open to peek.

4:50am I get back into bed.

4:50am Jason rolls over and puts his arm around me to wish me a Happy Birthday. I get stressed out and tell him, "Go back to sleep! You need to sleep!" as I push him away.

4:51am I am worrying about his interview, and our black cat Oscar must know this because he jumps on me and purrs and snuggles me. I pet him.

4:53am Our dog Max must know I am giving another animal some attention, so he runs down the hall thumping his tail on the wall and jumps onto our bed to get some attention too.

Keep in mind our dog is 92 pounds.

4:54am I attempt to start breathing again after Max gets off of me.

4:56am Oscar jumps back on me to get more snuggles.

4:57am I give up. I get up and turn on the coffee and decide to tell you about my very typical morning routine in my world.

OK, coffee is done brewing. Gotta go.

So how did your day start today?

(((hugs))),
chris

Patience is better than pride.
Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.
                                Ecclesiastes 7:8-9

Aaaaaah SNOW!!!

We FINALLY got snow here... I LOVE SNOW!!!

Can you tell which one does not belong?

See ya - going back to play in the snow :-)

(((hugs))),

chris

May the Lord smile on you

     and be gracious to you.
                          Numbers 6:25

What is a Christian?

That's an extremely subjective question, but since I have been thinking about it so much lately here's my 2 cents.

I have seen "Christians" lately being so judgmental, exclusive, and critical. It pisses me off. I believe these days non-believers are turned off by Christians. And I can't blame them. How can non-believers learn to embrace the gospel when they see "Christians" talking down at them and criticizing them rather than embracing them? When they see "Christians" judging them rather than forgiving them? When they see "Christians" preaching one thing and doing another? When they see "Christians" avoiding them rather than sidling up next to them and loving them right where they are?

“Yes,” said Jesus, “what sorrow also awaits you experts in religious law! For you crush people with unbearable religious demands, and you never lift a finger to ease the burden.     Luke 11:46

Looking back on my childhood, one half of my family was Greek Orthodox* and the other was Catholic*. I don't know much about either of those; I only know what I saw in church. And what I saw those family members doing at home. Haha.

*Not meaning to bash any one religion (or two)... these are my personal experiences :)

My experience with Greek Orthodox church: very ceremonial, ornamental, symbolic and serious. Every step and movement and chant seems to symbolize something. I like the symbolism. Not the seriousness or pomp so much. I remember going to one particular service long ago. I dressed up very fancy, kind of like if I was going to a fancy wedding or something. I was wearing a silk blouse and slacks and heels if I remember correctly. So after the service a very old Greek man came up to me and yelled at me because I wasn't wearing a dress... how dare I wear pants to their church! (BTW my uncle gave the sermon that day :)  My experience with Greek family: many of the older family members were bigots, racists, and two-faced talking about each other behind their backs. They saw each other on holidays and were there for each other if needed, but it seemed that came out of a sense of obligation rather than loving on their family. Fast forward in my life: after my YiaYia died, I didn't talk to any of them for years (even my priest uncle stopped returning my calls), and I have now thankfully reconnected with a few of my cousins on Facebook... NOT out of a sense of obligation :)

My experience with the Catholic church: ceremonial, dry, with monotonous responses given by the attendees at the appropriate times. The Catholic side of the family is awesome. They love each other and irritate each other and love each other some more. They enjoy each other (at least the majority of the time haha ;) and visit with each other outside of holiday times. They mostly see each other at baseball games because they are terribly addicted to baseball in an obsessive-compulsive way. GO WHITE SOX!!! (Sorry Uncle Mike.) And some of them read this blog. Which is very cool of course. Many of them no longer go to Catholic churches, but have found other church homes. I remember my first confession being terrifying. I remember the mandatory CCD classes but I don't remember anything we learned there, and my sister and I never made it to confirmation. I remember being at church, but I don't remember any Jesus stuff about being at church. I do remember Father Grady. Oh, you guys would love Father Grady. He's a smily short Irish guy. He loves our family all so much and remembers everyone and everything he ever knew about them and - wow - what a cool guy. Truly genuinely exudes love for everyone around him ~ he's an example of shining God's light and love out to the world. Anyhoo, I'm not sure what our family has to do with the Catholic religion... we never talked about Jesus or God or prayed together.

My parents didn't teach us right from wrong using a biblical view. Our home life was way too volatile and violent to be anything close to what they were talking about at church.

In my childhood, church was separate from the rest of my life. Jason and I don't want that for our kids. Jesus is part of our family. Intentionally.

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.          Proverbs 22:6

So what is a Christian?

I read this the other day and it totally resonated with me:

The difference between religion and Christianity is, basically, that religion is man's attempt to reach God, and Christianity is God reaching out to man. 

So all that ceremony? And the need to do the right thing and dress a certain way and follow the "rules"? That's all people, my peeps. Let's remember who Jesus hung out with when He was here on earth. He hung out with the prostitutes and the thieves and the drunks... He earned his reputation as a "friend of sinners".

I believe Christians are imperfect. We screw up and we sin. We screw up and we sin. We screw up and we sin. That's me too. I screw up and I sin. We need to know that we need Jesus. Only Jesus can set us back on track.


The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
    His mercies never cease.
²³ Great is his faithfulness;
    his mercies begin afresh each morning.
              Lamentations 3:22-23

Every day we get a fresh start. Another chance. No matter who we are. And no matter what we did before we believed. Even if we were a drunk or a prostitute or a murderer. Jesus erases all our sins and we start out new every day.

If you do go to church on a regular basis, look around during your worship service. You are looking at people who have cheated on their spouses, who have had abortions, who have beaten their children, who have lied and stolen, who have molested, who have turned away from the Lord and who have turned back.

In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!  Luke 15:7

Jesus hung out with the rejects, He cozied up to them and He forgave them, and then lovingly invited them into his community of people who were being made new.

Jesus wants each of us, and all of each of us.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.  2 Corinthians 5:17

But forgiveness is so hard for us mere humans. We remember. We remember those wrongs and oh man they did that horrible thing. We let the memory of those sins color our views of other people.

I want to be like Jesus.

I want to look at people like Jesus sees them. Beautiful. Broken and beautiful.

 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.  Ephesians 2:10

So what is a Christian?

I think a Christian is someone who loves God and who loves those around him. Period.

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these.”  Mark 12:30-31

Love God. Love others. This is our church's philosophy and is the focus of everything our church does. This is truly most important part of being a Christian ~ loving like Jesus.

I also think a Christian is someone who lives like Jesus. I don't think Christians need to shove the gospel down others' throats and tell non-believers that they will burn in hell if they don't turn to Jesus... but rather to live in a way that shines God's love out to the world.

“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.  Matthew 5:14-16

Be the Christ-like example of LOVE and forgiveness and mercy and faith.

So what is a Christian?

A Christian is a sinner who chooses to love Jesus, and to love like Jesus, and to live like Jesus.

(((hugs))),
chris

We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.  Romans 3:22