Self-Reflection, by Chris

I was thinking about my email signature... here it is:

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

I haven't thought much about those things lately. These words are just an automatic tag that goes on the end of my emails. Hmm. How am I doing?

1. Live simply. I could cut out some of the material things in our lives, I suppose. This one is really about Jason and I and the choices we make together. We're not doing too bad in this area. Our schedules are not overly hectic and busy and stressful. I suspect me being a stay-at-home mom has something to do with that. It keeps things simpler. We eat at home almost every night. Together. We're not overscheduled. We don't have much debt. We're in a smaller house now. We choose to not add extra things into the mix when life is stressful.

2. Love generously. Yikes. I could do a whole lot better in this area. "Love" is a verb in this case, and do I truly show love to my friends and family every chance I get? Generously? Self-reflection on that question hurts. Yup, I could do a whole lot better. Dr. Gary Chapman talks about the Five Love Languages: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. People feel most loved when they receive love in their primary love language. If you give love in your primary love language and that doesn't match the language of the receiver of your love, then they may not feel most loved. (That's the Chris version in a nutshell anyway...)

I am a hugger. I love hugs. I love giving and receiving hugs. I hug everyone ~ our family, our friends, the people at my volunteer gig, my doctor, my hubby's bosses and co-workers, our mailman Bill. (Just kidding about Bill. He already thinks I have a crush on him.) Probably everyone is like, "Chris, puh-leeeeze you don't need to hug me EVERY time you see me!" To that I put my fingers in my ears and say, "lalalala I can't hear you I can't hear you!" This is probably one of my love languages.

I could do better in all the other areas. I could compliment when girlfriends get their hair done (I am not a great girl-friend. I don't notice new haircuts or makeup or clothes very often.) I could be more open with sharing when I think someone is really great at something. I could spend more time with friends. Sometimes I guard my "me" time and our "family" time too closely... I could certainly make more time to love my family and friends. I could also make more time to do things for others. I think my most uncomfortable area is gift giving. I have been trying but I have to say I am not good at giving gifts. Sorry, guys, I'll do better at loving you generously!

3. Care deeply. I do. I do. I do. This one is internal so y'all don't see it. I do. My heart breaks when yours is breaking. My heart rejoices when yours is rejoicing. I cry with you, I laugh with you, I pray for you. I love you.

4. Speak kindly. Uh oh. Does the occasional f-bomb count for speaking kindly? (insert blushing red face here) When I disagree with someone do I always speak about them in a kind way... or do I shift into judgment-criticize-name-calling mode? Whoa. Not cool, Chris. What is that verse that talks about our words reflect what is in our heart...

5. Leave the rest to God. Now, this I have been consciously working on for a while. I'm getting there. I know when I feel like I am carrying around a big black cloud, I need to turn it over to Him. I know when my brain keeps obsessing about something, I need to turn it over to Him. I know when something is giving me a gutache or keeping me up at night, I need to turn it over to Him. I will gladly let the Lord carry those burdens for me. I suspect this is a goal to be worked toward all my life.


I guess that's the thing. I am not perfect nor will I ever be. I know that the Lord loves me more than I deserve. Only God is perfect ~ perfect in His love, His grace, His patience, His timing, His forgiveness. I am grateful that He loves me just as I am. I believe in self-reflection and making changes in me. I want to be more like Jesus. I want to be a generous, loving, caring friend to everyone in my life. Please forgive me where I fall short. I am trying.


1 Peter 5:10  And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.