One year ago in between the Gotchas...

Continuing the authentic Chinese experience sans forks at any meal except breakfast at the hotel. Forks? We don't need no stinkin' forks! Other meals include random animal parts in my dish (aka chicken feet or was that a beak?). No internet for a few days, just for grins and giggles and to completely cut me off from Western civilization. I am the only white person in this entire "small" town of 7 million people. (My guide kept referring to the city as "small". I guess it is when compared to Beijing.) Eating meals in places where no white person has gone before. Feeling like part-freakazoid and part-rock star with every Chinese person staring at me as I walk by.  No air conditioned tour buses taking me door to door, just my angel-guide and taxis and walking to get to where we needed to go. Carrying a 27-pound boy EVERYwhere, and seeing his beautiful face light up every time he looked at me ~ that's what kept me going I tell ya.

7/28/11 - Chris and David go back to the Registration office to complete David's adoption. Welcome to the Oehlkers family, sweet little munchkin! THEN drive 4 hours to David's city to get a passport. Then wait 3 hours for the passport lady to spend about 2 minutes doing paperwork. Then drive 4 hours back to the provincial capitol city. Unfortunately, no time to visit the orphanage.

Riding in the car between Taiyuan and Datong

7/29/11 - Our flight leaves for Zhengzhou at 4pm. In the morning, we go to the passport office to get D's passport that was supposed to be overnighted and ready by 10am. It was not overnighted. No sign of any paperwork related to David's passport.

(insert Tums here)
(oh, and a bunch of f-bombs too)

My angel-guide sweet talked a passport official and while I don't know exactly what happened since I don't speak Mandarin, I do know that we went across the street for lunch at a small, dirty restaurant. After an hour, the passport official that my angel-guide was sweet talking appeared with a passport for our son. I may or may not have slipped him 900 yuan literally under the table...

7/29/11 - This day deserves two entries. Angel-guide gets us to the airport, walks us to the gate, hugs us and then once we pass through security we are on our own. Me and the Chinese kid vs. Taiyuan airport. We find our gate which is at the other end of the universe the airport, and we sit down. We still have two hours to wait. The young man working behind the desk at the nearby gate tries talking to me. It makes me very uncomfortable. Thankfully David has to pee every 10 minutes, so we are able to move around the airport gate area rather easily, but the same young airport worker follows us and keeps trying to talk to me. He is trying to get me to pay him some money. "Dolla" is what he keeps saying and to explain he puts some yuan on the counter and slides it toward him like he wants me to slip him some money. I just play stupid like I have no idea what he could be talking about, and I quickly learn that when I sit next to other people he stays away, so I move us around trying to always be near people.

Two hours of this, people!

I picture me refusing to give him money and him calling security and D and I get detained... oh my mind went to some scary scenario places. One of those times where I just kept talking to God. Finally it was time to board our airplane.

7/29/11 - OK this day deserves three entries. We were flying "Joy Air" on this day. It was a small propeller plane that seated maybe 60 people - 4 across so D and I had our own row. David didn't yet understand that he could pee in the pull-up I put on him, so he would scream and cry in pain when he had to go potty. This happened only on take-off and landing three different times. Three different times?, you ask. Shouldn't we have had one take-off and one landing? As we were making our initial descent into Zhengzhou airport, we hit some turbulence that threw the airplane around lifted my bottom completely off my seat. I am grateful for the strength of the seatbelt, and that I was able to hold David to keep him from flying away. The plane bounced around like this for several minutes, then I felt the plane sharply rising again. This actually helped us stick to our seats. The plane landed maybe 30-45 minutes later, and we walked out into Luoyang airport.

WTF??? you say.

That's what I said too.

Yep. Me and the munchkin in Luoyang "International" airport. I actually didn't know that we weren't in Zhengzhou until I walked off the plane and saw the sign. No English writing anywhere except "Luoyang International Airport". No announcements in English either. I just stayed near other people from our flight, and listened for "Zhengzhou" when announcements were made. No food for me, snacks only for D. I had hardly been able to feed the munchkin a regular meal since I had met him. I was talking to God, trying not to cry, and trying to keep a pleasant look on my face and smile for D. David was an absolute trooper, just going along with me. Remember I can't even talk to him yet because we don't speak the same language.

Apparently there was a fast moving violent storm that hit Zhengzhou exactly as we were trying to land.

Our flight from Luoyang to Zhengzhou was uneventful. Thank you Lord. The flight attendant took pity on me and let me take David to the potty as we were coming in for a landing. That would never happen in America, eh? Arrived at the airport I don't remember what time - maybe midnight? Exhausted, hungry, carrying a 27-pound boy, a very very heavy backpack, and rolling a 50 pound suitcase... I finally found our Zhengzhou guide - what a sweetheart - with a big smile on her face. It was such a blessing to check into our room at around 1:30am-ish.

7/30/11 - David and I hung out. We ate regular meals. We took a nap. We walked over to Wal-Mart. We played and laughed. It was a great, uneventful day. I talked to our guide once on the phone, and told her I was happy just being left alone with David. I felt like a good Mama that day.

7/31/11 - Jason arrived!!! Yahoo!!! Baba, meet your new son! It was so amazing to see my husband, and to have him meet David. And to meet our travel group. And to be in a travel group. And to be able to speak to other people. And to see my husband.

I remember what a sweet friend told me when I was in China: "It's like a gift wrapped in really ugly paper."

Yep, it was just like that.

(((hugs))),
chris



Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love.
              1 Corinthians 16:13-14 

One Year Ago...

7/23/11: Chris left for China. 6 days earlier than planned. Surprise! Solo. Mmmm but I'm still having warm-fuzzy-like fond memories of Kore@n Air...  (where's the "love" button?)

7/25/11: Chris takes a solo walk in Beijing. Totally blended in. Not! Got lost. Found my way back to the hotel. Praised God.

7/26/11: Chris went to the Great Wall.

7/27/11: The authentic Chinese experience begins --- with a train ride from Beijing to Taiyuan. Beggars in the sardine can train station broke my heart. My first squatty potty was on a moving train. Because you all needed to know that too  ;-)

then... later that afternoon...

(insert drum roll, please..........................)

GOTCHA, DAVID!!!!!!!

When I think back to David's Gotcha Day, it sure feels like a looooooong time ago. It is hard to believe it has just been a year. It has been a hard year, but an amazing year of stretching and growing. We never would have been able to do this without God in our lives. Never-ever.

There has been a lot of leaning on our Lord, the One who gives us strength when we have nothing more to give. He always forgives us for our sins. Aren't we blessed to be able to wake up and start fresh each day? And our God always shows us grace and love even though we don't deserve it. He is always guiding us, teaching us, loving us. Our family is all still in the process of bonding, but we know that God is still at work weaving our family together. Every day is a little better, and we can't ask for more.

Happy first year with your family, buddy. We love you, David!

(((hugs))),
mama


Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
            James 1:27

Shhh! I have a secret!!!

Don't tell my husband that I told you, mmm-kay?

If I don't tell hubby to read our blog, then he won't.

And when I say "tell hubby", I mean like hit him over the head pull up the blog and hand the laptop to him.

So you guys know that we have had quite a ride starting in mid-May.

If you missed it, you can check out our curveball from our first scheduled surgeries day.
And the surprise slider a week later.
And the rescheduled surgery a week after that.

All in all ~ nothing life threatening thankyouJesus but still a rough coupla months for our family.

Sooooo......

Even in the middle of all that chaos and sleeplessness and stress and worry and thankyouGodforstretchingme and painfulness for whoever was healing at any given time......

I still feel pretty comfortable saying that I think we're supposed to adopt one more.

There, I said it out loud.  Er, loud in black and white anyway.

And no, it doesn't make sense. Because we have our hands full now, what with three little boys ~ two of whom have adoption-related issues that none of you ever see. No, no you don't.

So if any of you slip and mention it to my hubby, he has heard it before don't worry. I wouldn't tell you that sort of thing FIRST, now, would I?

So I pray about it. I want to make sure that God wants us to add to our family. I am always praying for clear direction these days it seems. For us, for our friends.

The idea of the process of adoption again? The paper chase? Social workers? Waiting? Reviewing files? More paperwork? TRAVEL??? Barf-o-rama on all counts, thankyouverymuch. In spite of the barfiness, I am still. Comfortable. With. The. Thought. Of. Adopting. Again. And I know, especially after the last process and how things just were all miraculously taken care of right on His time, I know that if we are supposed to do this, then it will happen and doors will open and we will be taken care of.

    He says, "Be still, and know that I am God;
       I will be exalted among the nations,
       I will be exalted in the earth."      Psalm 46:10

And when hubby and I talk about it, he's not freaked-out by it. He doesn't run screaming out of the room or stick his fingers in his ears. Ya, he's got that cop-face he can pull off sometimes but he can't do that with me. I'm cop-face-proof. Totally.

So we're not starting any sort of home study and we have not applied to an adoption agency anywhere and I'm not obsessed about it at this point nor am I hounding hubby about it. I just feel strangely at peace with the idea of adopting another one. Like quite sure about it. In a non-rushed sort of comfortable place about it. Crazy, eh?

Just thought I would share.

(((hugs))),
Mrs. Cop-face-proof


For God speaks again and again,
    though people do not recognize it.
He speaks in dreams, in visions of the night,
¹⁵     when deep sleep falls on people
    as they lie in their beds.     Job 33:14-15

How Does Our Garden Grow?

The garden. Aaaaaah. AKA Mama's Therapy Room.

I love the garden.

Specifically, I love growing things we can eat.

Flowers are cool too, don't get me wrong. We have a lovely perennial garden in front of our house, which we cannot take credit for since it came with the house. I maintain it, and it is very pretty. And the bees really dig it too.

But the veggie garden... I can walk through the garden gate and feel the stress melting off me...

The gate to Mama's Therapy Room

I am sitting here at 5am - dark outside - listening to the birds starting to sing -- and thinking about the garden and feeling all kinds of happy vibes about it.

Let me show you around:

Looking to the south after walking through the gate

In the picture above you can see in the front a little of our sons' pots, the small funky shaped bed where new green bean plants are starting to grow, then the tomato bed, and behind that I'll show you in a minute. On the left you first see a volunteer tomato plant taking over the rocks (I figured why not leave it and see what happens?), and behind that two "crop circles" with cucumbers - both slicing and pickling.

Looking to the north-ish -- D is watering his zucchini

Here above you can see the tomato plants in front and then the new green bean plants. Off to the left behind David is where our raspberries grow.

The boys' crops

The blue pot above is Josh's -- he is growing chocolate cherry tomatoes.

The yellow pot above is David's -- he is growing zucchini. They are very thirsty as you can see.

   (Did you know it has been quite drrrrryyyyyyyy out here in Colorado?)

The red pot is Samuel's -- he is growing yellow summer squash. His favorite color is yellow right now, so I thought that would be cool.

D watering his thirsty zucchini -
and a good view of our green outdoor carpet that we used for the garden walkways

S is watering his yellow summer squash and flowers
He is wearing his yellow hospital socks and brought out the purple bucket with separate water
to pour on Josh's tomatoes

Our cucumber setup

Here is one of our crop circles. Hopefully the cucs will get really big - they are flowering already. Our dog who has severe separation anxiety broke multiple metal crates over the years, so we kept the extra side panels that he didn't bust up. I decided to use those for supports for veggies. They work great for our cucs.

Our pole beans

I decided to try dry beans this year. Here is one of the pole varieties growing up our fence on some netting. I am also growing another variety of dry pole beans, as well as two other dry bush beans. They are heirloom varieties and if they are successful... they should be yummerific!

Space for the boys to play

Above you see the space I left for the boys to dig in... and we have another volunteer tomato plant. The ladder is for the boys to climb, as well as for me so I can talk over the fence to our neighbor. She is a gardener, so we have lots of chats about garden-things. And she and her hubby are the keeper of the bees that love our flowers and do wonderful things to our veggies.

View to the north-ish

Here is a not flattering view that shows how dry the garden is. You see in the left bottom corner the edge of a bed with dry bush beans and green beans, and above that the ladder/boys digging area. The bed in front is onions and pepper plants. I had some early bush snap peas in with the peppers, so the peppers are taking a while to catch up now that the peas are gone. The peppers are saying, "Ah hello sun!"

Beyond the pepper bed you see the carrots/radishes/onion/lowgrowingthings bed. The space in that bed used to be kohlrabi and Chinese cabbage, and now has itty bitty seedlings. And beyond that is the tomato bed. The random metal stakes in the garden beds are there to hold the netting for early or late peas, or to support the tomatoes.

I am trying to do better with succession planting this year. So far I have remembered to put something in where I took something out... that's what succession planting is all about!

Our orchard

I shared pics of our fruit trees flowering this spring, and yes we do have bunches of apples and pears growing this year! We have tons of apples, and not as many pears but we should still get a good pear crop.

Yummy apples

Mmmmm pears

In the front yard we took out a little of the lawn, so while we figure out what to grow there I decided to grow a variety of dry bush beans and some heirloom melons. The melons are really taking off! I don't have a picture of the melons to share with you today.

Here is some of what came out of the garden already:

Sammy flexing his muscles holding a garlic braid

This is my first attempt at a garlic braid. Not too bad if I say so myself! I was able to make three braids, and I saved some extra to plant for next year.

You know, I just noticed that our dog's butt is in a lot of our pictures...

Just sayin'...

Thanks for coming with me on a tour of our garden!!!

(((hugs))),
chris


Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires.                ~ Psalm 37:4

The Microscope We Live Under...

Why is it that I never heard some of these questions before I was a mama to three, like when I only had a biological son who is caucasian like me?

Why do some people feel that it is OK to ask prying questions?

Would I walk up to a mom and say, "How many stitches did you have in your episiotomy?" or "Are your breasts silicone or saline implants?"

Nope.

**I just want to say up front that I love all the questions coming from our close friends and people who have a personal interest in adoption ~~ I highly recommend that if God is moving you to adopt, please please please do! If you love us, please ask about us!**


Rewind to last week at the pool...

We ate lunch on our towels, and Josh and his two buddies took off and went back in the pool. As soon as the big boys left, the lady next to us with her 3 year old daughter said, "Where are they (pointing at D & S) from?"

I said, "From China. We brought them home last August."

She said, "Oh. Why not a girl? I didn't know there were boys adopted from China."

To which I replied with the standard answer yes that was true some time ago, but now there are more orphan boys who are available for adoption from China.

She looked me square in the eyes and said, "Do you have a thing for boys?"

Frankly, yes. But... I have never seen this lady before in my life! What the heck is that kind of question? I mentioned that we were open to boys or girls, and we looked at a couple other files but they were not a good fit for our family. These were the two that we pursued for adoption.

She looked me square in the eyes again and said (insert snotty tone), "Well, they ALL need homes."

REALLY???!!??? No sh*#. But we are not able to bring 143 million orphans home with us. We don't have enough beds. DUH! And can you imagine the laundry?

I said, "Yes, they do."

I try to be the hands and feet of God when I am able to with regards to adopted kids, as well as kids with cleft issues. God has brought us to where we are now, and what a long bumpy road it was. We obeyed Him. He may want to use us as His instruments to plant a seed or help someone along who is interested in adoption or be supportive to other adoptive parents, so I don't want to just blow people off. But sometimes, well, sometimes... holy cannoli...  I make lots of mistakes, and I made mistakes with the conversation with this lady.

First, I need to stop having these conversations (especially with strangers) in front of our boys. They don't need to hear me sharing personal information, nor should I be doing that anyway. I will try, "If you give me your number/email, I would be happy to find a time to talk about adoption with you or I can send you info on adoption."

I also need to ask the questioners, "Have you adopted? Are you interested in adopting?" That might give me an idea as to why they are so interested. And that will direct the questions away from being personal to our family and more to a general conversation about adoption. Or it might just end the conversation. It might work, anyway, eh?

Oy.

I will be better prepared next time.


Here's a little bit of sweetness to keep you coming back for more:

Josh's very first time down the big slide at the pool

David in swim class

Sammy's very first swim class ~ he is our fish!

(((hugs))),
chris



Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.
                  ~ Psalm 119:105