For This Child I Prayed...: The Microscope We Live Under...

Why is it that I never heard some of these questions before I was a mama to three, like when I only had a biological son who is caucasian like me?

Why do some people feel that it is OK to ask prying questions?

Would I walk up to a mom and say, "How many stitches did you have in your episiotomy?" or "Are your breasts silicone or saline implants?"

Nope.

**I just want to say up front that I love all the questions coming from our close friends and people who have a personal interest in adoption ~~ I highly recommend that if God is moving you to adopt, please please please do! If you love us, please ask about us!**

Rewind to last week at the pool...

We ate lunch on our towels, and Josh and his two buddies took off and went back in the pool. As soon as the big boys left, the lady next to us with her 3 year old daughter said, "Where are they (pointing at D & S) from?"

I said, "From China. We brought them home last August."

She said, "Oh. Why not a girl? I didn't know there were boys adopted from China."

To which I replied with the standard answer yes that was true some time ago, but now there are more orphan boys who are available for adoption from China.

She looked me square in the eyes and said, "Do you have a thing for boys?"

Frankly, yes. But... I have never seen this lady before in my life! What the heck is that kind of question? I mentioned that we were open to boys or girls, and we looked at a couple other files but they were not a good fit for our family. These were the two that we pursued for adoption.

She looked me square in the eyes again and said (insert snotty tone), "Well, they ALL need homes."

REALLY???!!??? No sh*#. But we are not able to bring 143 million orphans home with us. We don't have enough beds. DUH! And can you imagine the laundry?

I said, "Yes, they do."

I try to be the hands and feet of God when I am able to with regards to adopted kids, as well as kids with cleft issues. God has brought us to where we are now, and what a long bumpy road it was. We obeyed Him. He may want to use us as His instruments to plant a seed or help someone along who is interested in adoption or be supportive to other adoptive parents, so I don't want to just blow people off. But sometimes, well, sometimes... holy cannoli... I make lots of mistakes, and I made mistakes with the conversation with this lady.

First, I need to stop having these conversations (especially with strangers) in front of our boys. They don't need to hear me sharing personal information, nor should I be doing that anyway. I will try, "If you give me your number/email, I would be happy to find a time to talk about adoption with you or I can send you info on adoption."

I also need to ask the questioners, "Have you adopted? Are you interested in adopting?" That might give me an idea as to why they are so interested. And that will direct the questions away from being personal to our family and more to a general conversation about adoption. Or it might just end the conversation. It might work, anyway, eh?

Oy.

I will be better prepared next time.

Here's a little bit of sweetness to keep you coming back for more: