Weird. Odd. Like nothing I could have imagined.
Maybe because this child who you know is yours, who you have been so excited to meet, who you have been praying for, dreaming about, who you take the teeny bits of information given to you and try to guess at who they are, and you know the only way you EVER could have been matched with this child was by the grace of God because really it is like finding a needle in a haystack as they say... but when you meet your child, he is still a stranger to you.
Does he like broccoli or pasta or hamburgers? Does he like his back rubbed? Does he like to be outside? Will he be able to eat OK? Will he freak out in the car seat? Does he like Play-Doh or puzzles or blocks? Is his hearing OK? Does he like baths? Will he need to be carried everywhere? How long before we can go out in public or visit family and friends or go to church?
Then they say, "Here you go. OK, fly away now!" and you take this little stranger who you can't communicate with on a loooooooong airplane ride, and the next thing you know... the little stranger is walking around in your house and it feels like babysitting.
Like a really long babysitting-gig-from-hell that you can't get away from... I tell you coming home ain't no picnic with four people in the house having jetlag, and the munchkins both being (understandably) EXTREMELY needy trying to adjust to their new lives while grieving the loss of their China life. And the big brother being (understandably) EXTREMELY needy since he missed his mom & dad so much and now he's shipped off to 1st grade. Alot to handle for the munchkins, as well as the parents and the big brother. It definitely falls in the category of "not fun".
It's a process, I guess, this "falling in love" stuff. I am thankful for another blogger who adopted two and kept it real. She shared how incredibly hard it is, and that she does have a favorite. I can totally see that. My favorite newly-adopted-orphan-child bounces back and forth between the two. I hope the munchkins can't tell.
I have been practicing the "fake it till you feel it" method of loving and parenting our new sons. (If you disagree with this, well then I say you've never been here and please kindly keep it to yourself :-) What I have been doing is:
I tell the munchkins over and over, "I love you!"
and I pick them up
...and snuggle them
.....and comfort them
.......and play with them
.........and tickle them
...........and we all laugh
.............and you know what?
I fell in love.
(((hugs))),
chris
John 14:23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.
Hallelujah! Amazing how that happens!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your sweet blog comment, Chris. I have so enjoyed reading about your boys and transition. What you said is so true--J's growth and healing are due 99% to the transforming power of Jesus' love...brought about through our partnership with Him, of course, and lots of prayer! Joy and grace to you today. :o)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about the babysitting--We came home in Jan of 2010 with our son. He immediately bonded with my husband in China. But not me--I was OK because the same thing happened to my daughter, in reverse (she bonded with me and not him in China in 2005) and in 6 months she had him wrapped around her little finger. So, I knew things were going to be OK. But when we returned and he went to work right away and I was home, it felt like I was babysitting HIS child! I had 2 weeks before going back to work, and he still preferred his daddy at the end of that time. But 6 months later I took him on a 2-week trip to visit my family. My husband didn't have the time off, so I took them alone. And at the end of the trip, he was a mama's boy (and hadn't lost his affection for his daddy either). So, everything turned out OK in the end in both cases. But you're right about the "babysitting" feeling...
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your adoptions!!! I hope both surgeries go very well.