Happy Summer Break!

Mwahahaha ~ yes, pun intended!!! Read on...


Here's how our first day of summer went...

We made cookies for breakfast!!! How fun!!!

Hey, they had oatmeal in them so it's practically like a breakfast food, OK?

After breakfast I found this by the cookie jar:

Scorpio the Lego scorpion guarding the cookie jar with a speech balloon note like a comic...

"No wone is alout to eat thees coocies they are myne."

Apparently Scorpio liked the cookies...


And I spent the day helicopter-parenting this one worrying about anything or anyone bumping this one's face:

Isn't he beautiful?
Amazing that he is only one week post-surgery...

We played outside in the afternoon.

Josh and David decided to hit baseballs. Josh missed the baseball and hit his brother in the forehead:

Can you see the big purple bruise over his right eye?

Then I caught Sammy drawing circles on the door of the car:

Sammy's reflection on the scene of the crime.
See the circles?
Is that ANOTHER rock in his hand?!?

Then Mama got a beer (or three), and closed my eyes and drank my beers watched the boys pull each other around in the wagon:

After dinner the boys went to bed... and Baba went to play his softball game.

Then he came home after the game.

Then he drove himself to the emergency room to have his ankle X-rayed.

Because that is a good idea when you slide into second base and your teammates on the bench hear a "CRRRRAAAACK" and then your ankle swells up twice it's normal size:

What you are looking at is a broken fibula. And Jason's two new BFFs in the background. 

The boys (and our old-man cat) taking care of Jason

I mentioned in our last post that we will be living inside a bubble to keep the germs away... We apparently need some bubble wrap around our germ-free bubble...

(((hugs))),
chris




And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.
                           Romans 8:38

What have we been up to?

I realized that I haven't posted pictures in a while, so here ya go!

Our backyard this spring smells amazing! I think we'll get some pears and apples this year!

David's first Easter basket!

Samuel's first Easter basket!

Number 1's 7th Easter basket :o) (he was three days old for his first Easter)

Couldn't you just pinch those cheeks!

Cracking and peeling the eggs was too much fun!

Josh reading a book to David before school one morning

Samuel is fascinated by his biggest brother

Our new behavior modification idea

David at school on "Career Day" ~ he wants to be a policeman just like his Baba

The random "where did this come from?" picture of the day ~ love seeing my babies in SWAT gear... ugh

The brothers playing in the batting net in our backyard

Hey hey HEY now! Just KIDDING about the behavior modification thang!!! Don't call social services on us or anything!

(((hugs))),
chris

Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love.

~ 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, NLT

Home

For those of you who don't live here in Colorado, did you know it is tough to find a native Coloradan? It seems that everyone is from somewhere else. Even me. I grew up in a suburb just west of Chicago. Then one day when I had an early mid-life crisis I decided that I needed a change, so I put all my stuff in a U*Haul truck, put my car on a trailer, and off I went west toward the mountains.

I figured the worst thing that could happen if things didn't work out was to load everything back up and head back east.

But it obviously worked out for me, eh?

I feel like a grafted-in Coloradan now. I married a Colorado native (ya I actually found one), and my whole life is here now. It took about ten years, but I don't feel like I'm "from Chicago" anymore. This is my home, where I belong.

I sound more like I'm "from Chicago" after a few glasses of wine... I develop sort of an "accent"...

       Oops ~ I digress :o)

Sometimes it takes a while to find where you belong. So many people wander around, aiming their lives in this direction or that, never really feeling like the life they are living is where they fit. Where they belong. Where we belong isn't always comfortable and sunshine and smiles, but God didn't promise that it would be. He only promised that He would be with us and never leave us. That everything would glorify Him in the end.

Maybe the discomfort or dissatisfaction is God's way of telling us we need to do something different? Be somewhere else? Pay attention to Him more?

Like He's knocking on the top of our head and saying, "Hellloooooo!"

I wandered for so long. I finally feel like I am home. Home in God's arms, home with my loving husband, home with our three sons, at home with my life. I know I need to make certain things a priority to be the best person I can be, I know the things in my life will always be changing, and I know if I focus on God then everything else falls into place.

Life has gotten funny that way.

(((hugs))),
chris




Then this message came to Jeremiah from the Lord: “I am the Lord, the
God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?"
            Jeremiah 32:26-27

Go Ahead, Stare... I Dare Ya

This week has been kinda rough for me in one particular area...

I am worn. Down. By. The. Staring. And. Mean. People.

I am not talking about the double-takes that people do when they see Sammy's or David's face. I get that. I am talking about the kids and adults who out-loud-*gasp* in horror. The children who point-at-my-child-while-covering-mouth-with-other-hand-and-saying-EEWWWW. I am even talking about the adults who "try" to be polite by not turning their head while their eyes are glued to and track my son's face as we walk by.

This week, I did not handle the gang of children who gathered and stared and pointed at Sammy very well.

It kind of goes like this every time we walk up to get Josh from school. One or two or three of Josh's classmates who we know come up first to say hi. (He really has some sweet classmates ~ especially two little girls who love our little boys :o)  Then a couple more gather to one side, talking among themselves and staring. Then one more gathers with those two. Then two or three more gather around, staring at Samuel. As more and more gather, the pointing and EEWWWW's start. I think this is what you call "gang mentality" ~ mobbing and harassment in our case. In the meantime, the friendly-folk are still there talking to us and trying to make Sammy & David laugh and smile.

It makes me hurt for all three of my sons. I hurt because the other kids are so mean.

I don't know if the munchkins know they are being stared at because they look different. I don't want them to know that.

Up to this point, I tried to catch some of the EEWWWW'ers eyes and smile and ask if they have questions and try to engage them in an educational type conversation. For the kids who I have "caught" and spoken with and educated, this has gone well and those kids are now more accepting and friendly ~ they are free to ask questions and I am happy to answer them.  I say Sammy was born like that and the doctor will fix his lip with some stitches in a couple months, then he will look more like David with a little scar on his lip. I tell them that Sammy has lots of teeth, not just the one in front, and that he's two years old and talks and likes chocolate and jumping on the trampoline.

He's just a regular kid, not a freak show.

But this week, I did not handle the Meanie-McMeansters with grace and love. Outside school at pick-up time we had 10-12 kids gathering around us and the comments and pointing commenced. So with other parents and teachers and students around, I loudly and with a sharp tone said, "Do you know that it is mean to stare and point like that? Didn't your parents teach you better manners than that?" and I called out several kids who were doing that and looked them in the eye and told them to walk. Away. From. Us. Now.

Then I got in the car with the boys and as we were driving away I started crying. The radio was blah-blah-blahing so I reached to change it to music, when I heard something like, "...if you do feel bitter, just ask God for the grace to forgive."

BLAM!

I hear you, Lord. This is hard. I am trying.

Then I pulled over the car because I was crying so hard that I couldn't see.

After this week, I am trying to remember that we will most likely always be stared at because we are a mixed race family.

Just please don't make my boys feel bad.

Go ahead and stare at Sammy's mouth. Here you go:

I think he's very kissable :o)

I need to work on handling the Meanie-McMeansters with grace, forgiving them for their ignorance and loving them like Jesus loves me when I have been a Meanie-McMeanster.

(((hugs))),
chris


People with understanding control their anger; 
      a hot temper shows great foolishness.  Proverbs 14:29

Our Snow Day and more...

I forgot to mention that we had our second snow day of the year ~ it was fun! In the morning Jason went to work, so of course first I shoveled the driveway. It was a little too cold to play outside anyway at 7am. I shoveled almost half our driveway, when suddenly....

(~cue the angels singing~)

our neighbor came out with his mega-snowblower and finished our driveway AND sidewalk! Yahoo!!! When I came back inside 30 minutes later, the munchkins had wiped their little noses with the four boxes of tissues that they collected from all parts of our house. The previously empty kitchen garbage was now full with the tissues, and the empty boxes were all over the kitchen counters... they crack me up :o)

In their defense, their noses were runny :o)

We also started a painting that I had planned on them making for some time. They painted it all except the tree trunks. Here is the finished product:

In the afternoon when Jason was home... we played in the backyard! Here is what we did:

The start of a snow castle, but it wasn't quite exciting enough, so...

Daddy says, How about a snow CAVE?

My firstborn inside this snow cave before it was enlarged to fit two. Is this thing structurally sound???

David and Mama built a skinny snowman

And that was our fun-filled snow day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here are more pictures I found on our camera:

Me and my boys (plus a friend) at another friend's birthday party ~ too fun!

The random pictures I find on our computer... welcome to my world...

Josh playing basketball (he's in the silver uniform furthest left)

David reading a magazine just like Baba

Sammy has to be right near his Mama all the time ~ even on the kitchen floor!

Have a beautiful day!

(((hugs))),

chris

Shout to the LORD, all the earth; break out in praise and sing for joy!      ~ Psalm 98:4

Blissful Boringness...

As mentioned in my Healing post... boringness is beautiful :o)

No holidays.

No guests staying at our house.

No vacations.

No special anything.

Just every day like every other day.

Blissful = full of supreme happiness, utter joy or contentment

Boringness = dullness, tedious repetition

Praise God!!!

We so needed this. Space to breathe. Finding our rhythm. Growing closer as a family. Settling in. We are getting there, but bring on another five weeks of this before spring break. Sounds great to me!

I love that life feels like it is starting to get back to normal. It feels good.

Here are the books I have been reading lately:

Great book - puts the bible in chronological order and reads like a novel

Given to me by a sweet friend

An absolutely-positively-must-read for adoptive parents like me who are struggling

This one is next up... I bet I will love it

I usually fall asleep on them at night...

I have also been tempted to go back to my volunteering gig at the wildlife rehabilitation center... (oh, man, I do miss the critters...) but thought it would be best to first spend time at the boys' schools. I have finally started volunteering in Josh's class, and have helped out again in David's class at his school. That's always a hoot ~ I love getting to know the kids in their classes and the teachers.

By the way, blissful boringness does NOT include sitting on the couch eating bon bons ;o)

For example, this morning I was up at 5am marking items for a consignment sale (bye-bye maternity clothes sniff sniff), first child was up at 5:20am, other 2 were up at 6am, TV-babysitter for 30 min so I could finish marking items, breakfast for everyone but me, dress everyone and make them look presentable, leave at 7:40am to drive #1 to school, trip to the grocery store that included three stops in the bathroom, drop off #2 at his school by 8:55am, pick up prescription, home to unload groceries and give #3 a snack before his speech therapist arrived at 9:45am... and the whole day went just like that until right now when I decided to pick up the computer instead of starting dinner :o)  The munchkins didn't even have an opportunity to take a nap.

And I am so grateful for the ability to do all the things I did today.

You stay home with your kids? Aren't you bored? What do you DO all day?

I laugh in the face of those sorta questions...   BWAHAHAHAHA

Bring on the mundane, repetitiousness (is that a word?) of our family's world right now. Yahoo!!!

(((hugs))),
chris

1 Corinthians 10:31   So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.




P.S. Appointment with the surgeon is in two weeks... We'll find out about the next set of surgeries then... and then we're hopping' back on the roller coaster ride...

Random Things I Forgot to Mention...

Aunt Shel driving a minivan

David in his preschool performance~~see him in the red striped shirt clapping his hands
(and this was after only 4 days of school)

David taking 73 pictures with Jason's phone

David rode a horse with his Baba

Sammy snuggling his Baba

Our visit to the zoo (yes, this is the best picture of the three of them)

Josh with his obnoxious pile of Legos

Like Sammy's new 'do?

And then there was peace among the natives...

Playing the guitar with Brian

The view as you walk out of David's preschool classroom ~~ Hi Longs Peak!

(((hugs))),
chris


For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  James 1:3


...ain't that the truth. Thank you, Lord, for the difficult times so that I may grow closer to you.

Healing

Thanks for your prayers, whoever you are that prayed for me.

I totally felt them ~ felt God's hand holding me recently.

We are starting to heal. God is continuing to weave us together as a family one thread at a time. I am praying for blissful boringness now that the holiday decorations are down and we are in that January to March stretch. Praying for some sort of rhythm and more bonding time for all of us.

We all need it.

I need it.

(((hugs))),
chris




Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  1 Peter 5:6-7

The Trauma Center

I haven't been moved by the blog-o-riffic spirit lately... I have been in more of a blog-taker mode. You know, enjoying reading everyone else's blogs. It has actually been good for me. Cathartic.

Thanks to all the bloggy peeps continuing to share their lives with me. You have blessed me.

Here are instructions for "after the airport" that I am copying from a blog I enjoy:

For the next few months, do not assume the transition is easy. For 95% of us, it so is not. And this isn’t because our family is dysfunctional or our kids are lemons, but because this phase is so very hard on everyone. I can’t tell you how difficult it was to constantly hear: “You must be so happy!” and “Is life just so awesome now that they’re here??” and “Your family seems just perfect now!” I wanted that to be true so deeply, but I had no idea how to tell you that our home was actually a Trauma Center.

Do not act shocked if we tell you how hard the early stages are. Do not assume adoption was a mistake. Do not worry we have ruined our lives. Do not talk behind our backs about how terribly we’re doing and how you’re worried that we are suicidal. Do not ask thinly veiled questions implying that we are obviously doing something very, very wrong. Do not say things like, “I was so afraid it was going to be like this” or “Our other friends didn’t seem to have these issues at all.” Just let us struggle. Be our friends in the mess of it. We’ll get better.

So I'll add: When I mention that the boys came with quite a lot of baggage, don't tell me that everyone has baggage. No 3-1/2 year old should have to deal with so much. Not. A. One. And yes our boys are loud and rambunctious. They are boys. And two of them are traumatized and healing. The effects of adoption on little kids can look like PTSD or ADHD sometimes. So are they normal, crazy boys or feeling the anxiety? I don't know. And all the stories about biological siblings... at this point I just feel like it is comparing apples and oranges. I don't even want to mention how it has been hard for me to attach to the boys. I don't want to hear stories of how hard it was for you to attach to your biological child. It's not the same. And I don't want to hear about your twins. This is twins on STEROIDS. Right now, we're having our external "womb time". All the conflicting emotions you have during pregnancy. All the fears and what-have-we-done's and uh-oh-we-can't-turn-back-now's. But we get to do it with everyone watching. Good times, good times.

Our 6 year old has to deal with curious/mean kids at school staring and asking questions about the munchkins' facial deformities. I appreciate the curious ones, but even I am getting tired of the mean ones.  Every single time we go to school we are confronted with both. Every time. Our 6 year old handles it with grace and strength and pride. Not a bit of embarrassment or shame. I am so proud of him. And you know, I do like the stories about how our boys are acting just like regular siblings when they tease each other and fight. I like those. Those make me feel warm and fuzzy and like we're actually heading to that normal place. Whatever that is.

Now we're dealing with some new fears with one of the munchkins. Scary stuff. New trauma territory. I don't feel like sharing that here right now. But if you are in my real-life world, I just might hit you up for an ear and a shoulder :o)

Another bloggy friend who recently adopted shared how she has been feeling disconnected and melancholy lately. She let those feelings fester and they just got worse. Now that she has opened up to the people closest to her, she is able to start healing and reconnecting. I read this blog post a couple weeks after she wrote it, but it was perfect timing for where I am at right now. Thank you, bloggy friend, for helping me too.

So I latch on to the other adoptive parents around me. They get it.

I try not to literally latch on and grab them and hug them and cry sobbing on their shoulders. (sorry about that...)

"...this phase is so very hard on everyone". Yes, ma'am. It is. I gotsta be turning to the One who can help.

(((hugs))),
chris


Isaiah 41:10  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Four Months

One-third of a year.

Four months.

That's it.

That's how long we've had both boys.

Here they are on August 1:


they have the blank, stressed-out, what-the-hell-is-happening-to-me stares

Here they are on December 1:

proud to show off his creation



boxes are fun

the brothers

no, Aunt Shel, you can NOT take him home with you

showing their true silliness

big bro' teaching them how to pose for the camera

our family ~ Yay, Team O!!!

Lord, thank you for trusting us to care for these two beautiful little boys. I am in awe of how your hand blessed us at every step of the way to bring these two home, and what an absolute perfect fit they are. You have cared for each of us through our initial transition, and you continue each day to heal the scars the boys carry with them. Thank you for weaving these munchkins into our family...

What a difference four months can make.

(((hugs))),
chris