Recovering

Before this surgery, a friend of mine said she hoped the recovery this time would be better than we expect. I heard her, and thought to myself, "Ya, right. We have been through this before. We know how it goes."

But I guess we never went through a lip repair-only surgery yet.

          It has been a little better. Just goes to show you where me and my bad attitude got me.

It is still really hard to see your kid in so much pain. It has to be unbelievably hard to be the kid. Sammy's whole face swelled up so he couldn't smile (not that he would want to yet) and could hardly open his mouth. He is on a soft diet which is really nice because we can feed him regular food and he can actually get filled up.

             Liquid diets suck, my friends...

So since he can't open his mouth much, we give him his liquids (drinks, soups, smoothies) with a syringe. It hurts to open wide enough even to take a regular cup. We use a tiny baby spoon to feed him soft foods like yogurt and mashed potatoes and mac 'n cheese. Any other spoons are too wide and it hurts him to open up that much. Sammy is our meat-eater ~ I swear the kid could eat meat all day long if we let him. Yesterday we cut up a hot dog and a piece of chicken in tiny little pieces about the size of peas and fed it to him. He was so happy!

So it has been a little better this time around, but we are still dealing with "stuff". Like being helicopter-parent worrying about anything bumping Sammy's face for fear the stitches will split. And if the stitches split, his face splits. Scary stuff. I feel like we are constantly barking at the boys, "Keep that away from Sam's face! Don't swing that around! Sammy get down from there! Be careful! Blahblahblahblah!" And then there is the "stuff" like the short people being super-needy and whiny and demanding. Sammy is understandably super-needy, but David has amped it up in the neediness arena already. We see so many up stretched arms and carry around kids who are 30 pounds, give or take a few... it feels like when we just got back from China all over again. At least my back feels that way :-D  It's that two-fer thing where you can't adequately meet both adopted kids' intense and pervasive needs at the same time. So we opt to tend to Sammy and sometimes David just has to wait a few minutes.

            David's time is a-comin' though. Oh, baby.

And I do think we realistically know what to expect with David's recovery. He will be in lots more pain than Sammy is in now. And it ain't gonna be fun, but it will be so exciting when David can speak even more clearly. We are excited to hear his "new" voice, because we know it will immediately sound so different.

I was praying this morning and I suddenly realized that it is important to keep our eyes on the finish line, and to keep things in perspective. Thank you, Lord. Our goal with the surgeries is to have our kids be able to speak clearly and to have as little visible cleft scars as possible. These cleft surgeries will cause them pain, but it is temporary. It will be beautiful in the long run.

Keeping our eyes on the prize at the finish line,
(((hugs))),
chris


Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.
                            ~ Psalm 106:1

We're home

Last night went mostly fine. Sammy threw up a little after dinner, and a bunch right after he had his meds. Great timing, Sam. He was just so upset after the nurses changed shifts and he got a new nurse, and was crying and in pain, and he hated the blood pressure cuff squeezing his leg... so he barfed. Then I asked the nurse to give him the IV morphine, and that knocked him right out kept him very comfortable.

We came home today right around lunchtime.

Sammy is doing well. We are keeping him on the pain meds for now and he doesn't have any pain while he is on the meds. He doesn't need his no-nos all the time (hallelujah!), but we are making him wear them to sleep and to ride in the car. This makes him very grumpy and ticked at us. He is not happy with his diet, but we are finding things he will eat and drink. He is really happy to be home, and to pick on play with his big brothers.

I did not have a deep morphine-induced sleep last night, so today I am very tired. That's all I gots for you today.

Nighty-night.

Peace, out,
(((hugs))),
chris

One down, and we are done for the day

Sammy is done! Yahoo! Surgery went well. His lip looks so different, and he has one of those funky nose splints in like David had last time. I am betting that the nose splint won't stay in as well with this munchkin!

We are in our room, and will probably go home tomorrow morning.

The docs decided that when Sammy came out of anesthesia his cough sounded much worse. And given that David's cough was worse than Sammy's to begin with... Well that would be no good. They explained that D would probably do fine while in surgery, but if D were to develop an infection AFTER surgery there is an increased chance for dehiscence. That means his hard palate could split right open which would be sucky big time. So we will happily, although impatiently, wait a few more weeks.

(((hugs))),
Chris

2-1/2 hours down

Sammy has been in for his scheduled 2-1/2 hours now.

Did I ever mention that our doc takes his time with his patients?

This is a good thing and a-OK with us. You do want a plastic surgeon who is a perfectionist! His PA warned us last time about doc taking his time and don't worry if things take longer than expected. She described our doc as an artist.

Have I mentioned that I love our doc?

We just got an update from the nurse on the phone. Everything is chugging along just fine and Sammy is stable and hasn't had any problems. When I asked about where things were in surgery and time frame, and the nurse asked doc if he knew how much longer, I heard the doc in the background tell the nurse, "No."

So we wait.

I guess they will be in there a while longer.

Poor David is sooooooooooooooooooooooo hungry that he can't even sit still. He is such a trooper, though. He and Jas are on another walk.

Thanks for the prayers.

(((hugs))),
Chris

Surgery day is here!

We arrived at the hospital bright and early at 600am. The boys both still have coughs, so we were praying that the boys could both still have surgery.

Sammy just went back and is in surgery now. He will have his full lip repair done today, so he will look much different the next time we see him! I just kissed him for the last time on those lips.

Our doc is still concerned about doing David's surgery today, since he is having his whole hard palate closed up. The anesthesiologist explained that a cough in the upper area is a concern because when the kids are intubated, the tube passes thru the vocal chords the chords can close off the tube if they are swollen and react to the tube by tensing up or pulsing. That is such a Igotupat430am kinda medical explanation, eh?

So they will probably listen to David's chest again and reevaluate when Sammy is done to decide if David can have his surgery today.

Please pray that it is safe to do D's surgery today.

And please pray that Sammy does great in surgery and that the surgeon's hands are guided by God.

(((hugs))),
Chris

Only 42 Hours to Get Healthy...

Yup, we have a sick one. D had a fever on and off on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Today no fever. He has also been coughing.

Anesthesiologists tend to not like fevers. And they tend to not like any chest congestion. They are so picky like that.

If David has either, it would mean a big negatory-good-buddy on D's having surgery on Friday.

I don't hear any congestion from just listening to David when I put my ear to his back. He has a shallow, dry cough. That is my professional medical opinion, just so ya know.

I wonder if both munchkins will have their surgeries on Friday.

Samuel will still have his surgery whether David has his or not. We have our Plan B ready to go.

Praying for one of those quick miraculous recoveries that kids tend to do.

And I bought a new bottle of Tums today.

Have I mentioned that I am a bit of a dork? I have no idea why the picture is backward. Nor do I know how to fix it. I crack myself up.

I guess I will take my "SMUT" when I need them...

(((hugs))),

chris

P.S. I will be updating our blog on Friday as we go along with the surgeries.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.
                                                       ~ Psalm 106:1

The Two-Fer

A few weeks ago, we went to the Empowered to Connect conference. It is a conference that is for adoptive parents ~ in a nutshell to learn how to love and parent and understand our adopted children better. The main speaker is Dr. Purvis who is a developmental psychologist. She has dedicated her life to helping traumatized children including those adopted from orphanages. She is kind of known as the adoption-attachment-guru, and I especially love her ideas about attachment and bonding.

Well, we only made it to the second day of the conference, but it was still amazing. I remember in the morning, the first session, I just felt like, "Oh, crikey, I am not doing any of these things! I have totally ruined my children! Oh my! I am a terrible mother!"

Then, the day went on, and I started to remember that these ideas that were being passed along were tools that we could use with our kids. It is OK if we don't follow her ideas exactly and all the time. We can add it into our parenting "toolbox" and use what we want and keep the rest for later if we need it.

Whew! I haven't ruined their lives! Not yet, anyway....   hehe

So we left during the last session ~ the question and answer session. When I was waiting in the lobby for my hubby, the question I heard over the TV monitors was, "Should we adopt more than one child at the same time?"

Dr. Purvis answered very very briefly, but her answer was no. Bad idea. Nuh-uh. Don't do it. Do not adopt more than one child at a time. She said it is a bad idea because you cannot adequately meet the intense, pervasive needs of two or more children who are new to your family at the same time.

(I paraphrased as best I could remember anyway)

I agree, that has been one of the most difficult things about bringing two home at once. When one is crying and needs you, the other one inevitably and sometimes all of a sudden starts crying and needs you. It is hard in those moments. You feel torn, and as the parent you know you are not meeting one of their needs as well as you should. And given their history, they need those needs to be met immediately to help them learn to trust.

We have done our best.

It is all we can do.

But the one thing we KNOW, the one thing that Dr. Purvis didn't address, was that if you are doing what God wants you to do, if you are doing what God TELLS you to do, then you ARE doing the right thing for your newly adopted multiple children. I have been noticing lately that as different as their little personalities are, our munchkins go together.

Found them in the backyard yesterday with the hose on watering the plants

And the trees

They wrapped the hose around this tree 3 times and were both pulling on it
when I suggested they walk around the tree the other way...

Gotta keep their heavy equipment clean too

And they most definitely go with their big brother too.

Their first attempt at a "sleepover" on Josh's floor

God has made it crystal clear all along the way that we were supposed to adopt these two boys. We obeyed Him, and now we do the best we can with His children. We are so blessed to have them in our family. They belong together, and they belong with us.

(((hugs))),
chris


You will keep in perfect peace
     all who trust in you,
     all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
                                     Isaiah 26:3

T minus 3 and 14

OK, we are officially in the countdown to surgeries!

In three days, Samuel will have his dental surgery. Which, despite my acute fear of anesthesia, seems like nothin' in comparison to the big-daddy-type-surgeries to follow.

In 14 days both Samuel and David will have their big-daddy-type palate surgeries.

I have been thinking back to our last palate surgeries... ugh... the poor fellas were miserable! And I can't blame them. From what I have heard, the hard palate surgery is the most painful to recover from. Which makes sense, since they are having their bony top of the mouth fixed. This means their existing bone is sliced thin kind of like sliced lunchmeat, then layered across the top of their mouth and secured so the bones can heal together. (That is such a medically accurate description, I'm sure... not...)

Sammy had that last time.

David gets it this time.

So thinking back, the munchkins were in aLOT of pain for about two weeks after surgery. We kept them on their mega-pain killers for almost that long - around the clock for Samuel.

Aaaaahhhhh, sweet sweet memories~~~

~~Memories of not sleeping for three weeks until the arm restraints were off...

~~Memories of LOTS of coffee... truly a gift from God...

~~Memories of taking the boys potty every time they needed to go...

~~Memories of the boys being in so much flippin' pain and feeling so insufficient to help them...

~~Memories of feeding the boys every. morsel. of. food. that. went. into. their. mouths. for. three. holy. moly. stinkin'. just. shoot. me. now. weeks... (except the sweet, sweet soups and smoothies and drinks that could go in open cups that they could feed themselves ~ cue the angels singing~~~~)

~~Memories of said open cups containing high-fat and/or thick liquids spilling all over the place ~  at least once every meal or snack time...

~~Memories of the munchkins (understandably) regressing and turning into little needy-bombs... and never being able to comfort both of them at once when they both needed it...

~~More memories of the munchkins waking up several times a night either in pain (poor guys) or just plain ol' uncomfortable because seriously, arm restraints suck...

~~Memories of being THE HELICOPTER-PARENT-ON-STEROIDS so they didn't bump their faces and tear open their stitches and need another surgery...

~~Memories of taking lots of Tums to calm my new ulcers...

~~Memories of in-and-out, in-and-out, in-and-out of the car with arm restraints on...

~~Memories of loving those boys like their lives depended on it. But of course, their lives do depend on it...

If I had to pick the hardest thing to live with as a parent of a munchkin recovering from a cleft surgery, I would have to say the worry that they might bump their face or stick something in their mouth and rip the stitches (aka their face or mouth) wide open. Everything else was draining and tiring, but getting past the "danger zone" and into the "healing zone" was the worst for us.

Prayers would be most appreciated. Don't worry, I will remind you again right before their surgeries ;-D

(((hugs))),

chris

The Lord will guide you continually,
     giving you water when you are dry
     and restoring your strength.
  You will be like a well-watered garden,
     like an ever-flowing spring.          Isaiah 58:11