Clefty Updates

Today was Cleft Palate Clinic day for us!!!

At the clinic, docs from all the disciplines that we will need for the munchkins were there to evaluate them. There were probaby 10 kids at the clinic, and we all just rotated through visiting the various docs. We saw a pediatrician (who coordinates the program), an audiologist, two orthodontists, two oral surgeons, a pediatric dentist, an ENT, a plastic surgeon, and a speech pathologist. The speech pathologist also helps coordinate the clinic, and she was the one who spent so much time on the phone with me before we traveled to get the munchkins.

The orthodontists, oral surgeons, and dentist were all in one room, as were the plastic surgeon and the ENT, so it wasn't as lengthy and overwhelming as it sounds :)

Our next step is to schedule surgeries. Here is where we're going to start:

• David will have a palate surgery. He has a very wiiiiiiiide cleft, so the surgeon said he will try to get his whole palate closed up, but we may need to do the closure in stages (i.e. multiple surgeries).
• Samuel will have a combined surgery - a lip adhesion and palate surgery. The lip adhesion means that his lips won't be completely fixed, but first the sides of his top lip will be attached to his funky lip bump (which is actually called a prolabium if you want to get technical and doctor-ish). This way his upper lip can start growing back toward a more normal position while it heals. So it will still look funky after surgery. In the same surgery, the surgeon will close Samuel's palate, which should be completed in just one surgery. (Samuel's next surgery will be about 6 months later, and his lip will be fully repaired at that time, including repositioning muscles and lining everything up.)

So tomorrow afternoon we'll call and schedule surgeries. And just like the craziness in adopting two at once... we're thinking we will have both surgeries on the same day!!!

Pros for having surgeries on different days:

• Only one munchkin at a time will be recovering and in pain, and coming off anesthesia.
• There will be only one munchkin potentially waking us up at night due to pain/trauma/anxiety/post-surgery issues.
• Only one munchkin at a time will be uber-needy because they just had surgery. (I'm not sure how this differs from our every day uber-neediness especially a month ago when we first met them... but I'm sure it's probably worse.)

Pros for having two surgeries in one day:

• Both munchkins will be recovering and in pain and coming off anesthesia together, rather than us doing it all once and doing it again a month later.
• We'll potentially be up anyway with pain/trauma/anxiety/post-surgery issues, so we might as well get up with both boys (i.e. we'll just be sleepy for one block of time instead of two).
• We have experience with both munchkins being uber-needy at the same time.
• Jason only needs to take off work for one short block of time instead of two.
• We're pureeing food for three weeks of the recovery time anyway, might as well make a double batch!

Cons for having two surgeries in one day: Will probably grow Chris a new ulcer and a few new gray hairs. But we all know that Tums is one of Chris' new BFFs...

We're both leaning toward doing the surgeries on the same day. Please pray with us for clear direction on this decision.

(((hugs))),
chris the crazy two-fer momma


1 Chronicles 16:11   Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.

Red Couch

I came across our Red Couch photos the other day and realized that, with many thanks to the Great fireWall, I never posted those. Oops!

The red couches are at the White Swan Hotel where we stayed in Guangzhou. This was the last stop on our China trip. I understand that the White Swan is going to close for a year for renovations, and that we were the last travel group that our adoption agency booked at the White Swan before it closes.

It is tradition to take photos of your newly adopted child on the red couch. Here they are:



All the newly adopted little kids

The little kids plus the newly adopted 13 year old girl who would have aged out and not been eligible for international adoption after she turned 14 later this year

Travel Group #1755

I must say it again, it is good to be home :-D

(((hugs))),
chris

One Month Later...

It has been one month since we adopted the boys.

One month since David last slept in an orphanage.

One month since Samuel said goodbye to his loving foster family.

What a difference a month can make!

David then

David now

Samuel then

Samuel now (he's actually waving at the camera hehe :)

We pray as a family. We pray at meals, and we pray at bedtime. Sometimes we even remember to pray together in between (but not often enough). In China, David thought praying was funny. He would giggle every time I folded his little hands in mine and prayed with him. Now, David is initiating prayers at meals. One night last week, Jason was putting Samuel to bed and Josh was in his own room. I started to pray with David, and he stopped me and insisted that Baba, Samuel, and Joshy come and pray too. So we did. When David prays, he folds his little hands and interlaces his fingers. He brings his hands to his chin, and closes his eyes and stays like that until we're done praying. He says, "Amen". At meals, Samuel folds his hands too. When we pray before bed, Samuel smiles and giggles and folds his hands and likes to pray out loud. Out LOUD the whole time along with whoever is saying our evening prayers.

I didn't know Jesus until much later in life, and we want things to be different for our boys. We want them to know Jesus all through their lives. To know He is always with them and that He loves them. That no matter what is going on in our lives, we can find comfort in Him and direction in His word. We pray for this personal relationship with our Lord for each of our boys.

Praising God for the first month of a lifetime together,
chris


Deuteronomy 4:7  What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the LORD our God is near us whenever we pray to him?

Psalm 145:18  The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.

Double the Fun!

As promised, I won't blahblahblah at you today. Enjoy!

Welcome Home Samuel and David!

Playing at the park

Big brother blocking the slide... hey, it's his job, right?

David

Samuel

not able to get smiley pic with the big one...

Grammy and her new grandsons

Grandma and her new grandsons

Nerf water gun wars

this watergun is bigger than Samuel!

David loves shooting this one... getting wet, not so much!

the three Oehlkers boys

We've Been Home for 1 Week

Wow. Sometimes it feels like we got home yesterday, and sometimes it feels like we have been home forever. Now that the fog is lifting, I am realizing that I need to take more pictures...

Next post, all pics :)

Chris' Mom and sister up and left us to fend for ourselves on Monday. :)  Just kidding... they were here so long already taking care of Josh, then they took amazing care of all of us for days when we wouldn't have been able to care for ourselves. They showered blessings on all of us, selflessly, and we are so grateful. And praise God that I (Chris) actually had two 4-hour blocks of sleep on Sunday night so Monday was the first day I felt human again. Jason seems to still be having a bit of jetlag hanging on, but each day is a little better.

Each day is a little better. Yup, it's true, and I like the sound of that. Gotta remember that one.

Thanks to all my bloggy friends out there who recently adopted, and who were keepin' it real on their blogs. We know everything we're going through is normal. It doesn't fall into the "feel good" or "rainbows and sunshine" categories, but it's OK, it's normal, and we'll get through it.

It still feels like the boys are visiting. Like we're babysitting or something. Some day these boys will feel like they are ours and that we're not just the babysitter.

And Josh started school yesterday. FIRST GRADE!!! When did THAT happen? Here he is, our biggest kid:

So today, one week later:
~Samuel is happy and once he is asleep, he is sleeping fairly well. He's attaching to Jason and I. We have to reign him in a bit with affection to other adults.

~David is fairly happy much of the time. We think/pray the tantrums have hit their peak, he is sleeping a little (emphasis on little but we'll take it :) bit longer at night, and he wants to please us. He is possessively attached to Chris.

~Josh (our first grader) is adjusting to sharing his Mom & Dad. He wrote us a note the other night, asking if we would send his brothers back to China. He even said, "Please"...

~Chris is over her jetlag, and still trying to adjust to being a mom of three. Waiting for that "aha, these are my sons" moment...

~Jason still has a bit of jetlag. Also waiting for that "aha, these are my sons" moment.

One week later, and each day is a little better.

(((hugs))),
chris

The First 48ish Hours at Home

We're baaaaack!!!

We're sooooo happy to be home. Happy to see #1 son, happy to be out of China and back in the U.S., happy to finally bring our munchkins home.

Plans to blog almost daily from China were thwarted by The Great fireWall. Internet was slow, our computer jammed up (technical term), we were kicked off the internet repeatedly, draft emails were deleted, and finally - in our last week - we lost our internet access almost completely. Thank God that we still had Skype, so we could still talk to #1 every day. That helped us keep our sanity :)

So like I said, we're sooooo happy to be home!

We arrived home on Thursday night around midnight, so we woke up Josh and had a "midnight party". We talked and snuggled and ate snacks, then went to bed around 2am. It is so good to be home.

Chris' mom and sister are here, and have been taking care of all of us. What a blessing. Food appears. Dishes are cleared and cleaned. Toys are put away. The house is cleaned. Laundry is washed and folded. Children are cared for. Aaaaaaaahhhhhh.

Have I mentioned it is good to be home? Thought so.

Days are great ~ Samuel has really come a long ways. He is a little funny man! He loves everyone, and doesn't have sibling jealousy. Yet, anyways :) And the little peanut eats a TON!  David is a sweetie. He loves to play. We are seeing some jealousy issues, and he likes to "collect" things. He'll walk around the house gathering armfuls of toys and sit down and pile them up around himself :)  Josh has handled things much better than we thought he would so far. He loves his little brothers, and doesn't seem to have major issues with his brothers yet. Oh, other than he doesn't like them touching his Legos. He did ask me (Chris) yesterday morning when he could have more attention... I love him so much. It hurt having part of my heart on the other side of the world.

It is so good to be home!

Nights... well, there have been 2-1/2 nights at home so far... I have to remind myself that this is early in the game. It's tough to keep that perspective when I have only had maybe 10 hours of sleep in the last 4 days, including the hour I got tonight. David is not sleeping well. For example, it is 5am and I just put him to bed. He slept a few hours, and then was up for the rest of the night. I gave up trying to get him back to sleep because I was getting too frustrated. Samuel also wakes up crying several times a night. He seems to be waking up sad sometimes, and other times he is crying because he needs to go potty. Jason came out at 3:30am looking for sleeping pills...

This is how we feel sometimes:

Isn't that a funny picture? We took it about halfway through our trip in China. Samuel had just woken up from a nap and realized Jason wasn't in the room, and David was upset because I picked up Samuel.

This picture is SO going in their wedding videos. Tee hee hee    :-D

Please pray for some sleep in our house soon. I think the big dark cloud over our heads will clear once we get some sleep. And please forgive us if we're somewhat incoherent or forgetful for a while.

It is so good to be home.



1 Peter 4:19  So if you find life difficult because you're doing what God said, take
it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he's doing, and he'll keep on doing it.

Keepin' It Real in China

***I wrote this while we were in China right before we met

The Great fireWall and lost our internet***

This has been a rough experience for both Jason and I. We are tired. We are frustrated.

We are on someone else's schedule for the paperwork, and the office hours here are ridiculously short so we wait extra days between submitting forms and receiving paperwork. In the US we believe we would get our paperwork back the next day. It's frustrating.

China is crowded and dirty. We appreciate the emissions regulations we have in the U.S. better now. The air is smoggy, and it doesn't clear - it only lightens. We will both have smokers' cough when we get home. We are used to walking dangerously close to moving cars and electric bicyles now. Doesn't even phase us. And even the hotel carpet is dirty - the boys' feet are dirty after playing on it for a while. It's gross.

Every single time we leave our room is an adventure, just trying to navigate Chinese culture and language differences. We expected that, but after a while it's also frustrating.

The staring didn't bother us at all, until we had Samuel. People stare in horror at his facial deformity. Horror. Some people stare in horror at David's scars from his lip surgery, which we hardly even see. I (Chris) just want to poke their eyes out... but we look back kindly and smile. Trying to be Christ-like in our actions... Trying to remember that people who look different just never make it out in everyday life here in China. People who look different are the "less-thans", the people who are tossed aside, outcasts, bad luck, whatever. Now some people are extra kind, and go out of their way to make Samuel smile and laugh, especially the hotel workers. People ask about their cleft issues, so we take this as God giving us an opportunity to teach & reach. We so appreciate that.

Does anyone enjoy taking two toddlers out to eat in restaurants? We have to do that for almost every meal. It sucks.

Hotel living is bad enough when you are there by yourself. Then you add two little munchkins who are grieving, who you can hardly communicate with, who are having trouble sleeping, and who have voracious appetites... it's rough.

A beautiful friend of mine just told me this the other day:

It's like a gift wrapped in really ugly paper.

It's a gift to have the time to bond, to get to know the munchkins. It's a gift to not have our normal life responsibilities while we do this for the first two or three weeks. It's a gift to have our #1 son at home being loved on by people who love him.

In those happy moments here in China, when the boys are smiling and playing together, when they respond well to their new Mama and Baba, we know that things will be OK. David and Samuel are amazing! We know these munchkins are a gift from God.

These are our children we have been waiting on for five years.

Ain't no doubt about it :)

But I must say, it sure will be nice to be home.
(((hugs))),
chris


Hebrews 4:16  Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will
receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

The Home Stretch (Literally)

Hello!  Chris's sister Michelle here along with Josh and Grammy.  Chris, Jason, David, and Samuel are all doing well, but having trouble getting a good internet connection so they asked us to update you.

Samuel is so much happier.  He gave us a HUGE smile and wave yesterday and plays with his brother. We've wondered how Josh will adjust to having two brothers, but never stopped to think that neither David or Samuel have had brothers either so this will be a big adjustment for all three (Sharing--Playing nice--Ganging up on the parents--will all be new skills to master). 

Samuel's just starting to walk and is a messy eater--including throwing food, which, of course, Grammy interprets as a future White Sox pitcher in the making.

David is still all smiles (at least with us on Skype--Chris reports that he's getting more comfortable with them which means he's also comfortable sharing his feelings--at full volume and with tears at times).  He recognizes all of us immediately and can say our names as he sees us.  He also says Hello and Max (the dog).

They are all definitely ready to come home. They are in Guangzhou, the final (yeah) place they have to go.  It is much more western-friendly and used to dealing with adoptive families. This is where the U.S. consulate is.  Tomorrow, they head to the consulate for visas! And then passports! And then board the plane home on Wednesday, arriving late Thursday--whew!  I'm SOOO excited to meet my new nephews.  I'm sure Chris will post more after they are home and recovered from jet lag.