Why China?

I was talking with someone earlier this week that I just met and the topic of kids came up. He has two boys. I shared that we have one boy and two on the way, and that we are adopting the two from China. He responded, "Have you considered domestic adoption?" .........

...................long pause.................

I said, "Yes." My "fantasy conversation" would have gone very much differently. What a strange and inappropriate thing to ask someone you just met. As if a mega-huge decision like adopting would not be thoroughly researched or well thought out. Which got me thinking about the route we took when we decided on China.

We have always wanted more children. At least two, but three or four kids is kind of where we pictured our family. So we started with one beautiful baby boy in 2005. We decided to start trying for number 2 in May of 2006. Over the next three years, the Lord took our next six babies. So we know about loss. We explored adoption around this time and couldn't afford a traditional adoption, and fost-adopt left such a big door open for potential heartache and more loss. We felt like we were setting ourselves up to be hurt again, so we decided against that. Our wounds were still raw. Our hearts still hurting. We decided that the Lord blessed us with one beautiful baby boy, and we should be happy with that. So we downsized ~ smaller house, smaller car. We mostly healed and felt like we were exactly where we were supposed to be.

Then God decided to stir things up for us again. He opened the door. He presented us with just enough money for an adoption... so we prayed... and we know that He provided the financial means ~ what we perceived as our biggest obstacle ~ so we knew what we were called to do.

We started by ruling out options that wouldn't work for us. First we decided against domestic adoption. We have known several families who have been matched and traveled to pick up their baby, only for the birth parents to decide to keep the baby. That had too much potential for more loss and heartache. We still felt we were not supposed to do fost-adopt for the same reasons. That left international adoption. We looked at different countries' programs and ruled out a bunch of countries for things like travel time (some require multiple trips and/or extended stays), or we didn't meet certain criteria for adoptive parents, or some countries adoption programs are very new or not stable. Through this process we kept being directed to China adoption and specifically to CCAI (our adoption agency). Our good friends had applied with CCAI to adopt from China. We kept running into people we know in random places who had adopted from China and had great experiences with our specific adoption agency. A few had used CCAI for two separate adoptions. We had narrowed ourselves down to China and South Korea, but God kept directing us toward CCAI and China. So we listened. And the Lord has given us peace throughout this process.

He was answering our prayers, in His time, and we were supposed to have more children His way. Why China? Because that's where God put our boys.


Luke 2:14   "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests."

His Perfect Timing

This process sometimes feels like it is draaaaaaaagging on and on and when are we EVER going to go to China and this is taking forEVER. As I was looking up the dates for our timeline, I was reminded that we only started down this road three months ago. There's my shot of perspective for the day. Already God has shown us who our two sons are. Yes, it is hard for us to wait especially since we know who our kids are now. But we are able to start caring for them now too. We are able to be Samuel's foster sponsors, and have already sent him a care package. We have connected with other parents from David's orphanage yahoo group and have received more pictures of him. We will be sending David his first care package this week and hopefully it will get to him before his 3rd birthday. So, no, we don't get to hold them yet, but we do get to start taking care of them. Our God is amazing!

Being matched with our boys early has also been a blessing for our son, Joshua. When we started looking into adoption this time around, we talked with Josh about it. Let's say his response was less than accepting. He is a kid who processes change in bits, and he has come around full circle. Now Josh is so excited to have two brothers. We have pictures all over the house, and Josh will ask random questions about them. The latest was, "Mom, how old is Samuel?" out of the blue. Just processing in bits. He had a "moment" in October that was his turning point. Josh and I were playing skeleton family ~ Momma (me), big brother (Josh), and baby skeleton (a skeleton doll decoration thing). Josh wanted Momma Skeleton to put the two kids down for a nap, so I tucked them in on the couches under blankets. Josh pops up, says, "Wait, Mom", grabs the baby skeleton and runs into the kitchen and throws him on the floor. After Josh ran back to his couch "bed", he said, "That is China. You need to go get the baby in China." So I said, "OK, Josh, let's go to China." Josh said, "No, mom, you need to go by yourself on a big plane and I will wait here until you bring the baby home." I tell you, we played skeleton family for the rest of the afternoon... We prayed for God to soften Josh's heart toward adoption, and He answered our prayers. All in His perfect time.

1 Samuel 1:27   I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.