The Trauma Center

I haven't been moved by the blog-o-riffic spirit lately... I have been in more of a blog-taker mode. You know, enjoying reading everyone else's blogs. It has actually been good for me. Cathartic.

Thanks to all the bloggy peeps continuing to share their lives with me. You have blessed me.

Here are instructions for "after the airport" that I am copying from a blog I enjoy:

For the next few months, do not assume the transition is easy. For 95% of us, it so is not. And this isn’t because our family is dysfunctional or our kids are lemons, but because this phase is so very hard on everyone. I can’t tell you how difficult it was to constantly hear: “You must be so happy!” and “Is life just so awesome now that they’re here??” and “Your family seems just perfect now!” I wanted that to be true so deeply, but I had no idea how to tell you that our home was actually a Trauma Center.

Do not act shocked if we tell you how hard the early stages are. Do not assume adoption was a mistake. Do not worry we have ruined our lives. Do not talk behind our backs about how terribly we’re doing and how you’re worried that we are suicidal. Do not ask thinly veiled questions implying that we are obviously doing something very, very wrong. Do not say things like, “I was so afraid it was going to be like this” or “Our other friends didn’t seem to have these issues at all.” Just let us struggle. Be our friends in the mess of it. We’ll get better.

So I'll add: When I mention that the boys came with quite a lot of baggage, don't tell me that everyone has baggage. No 3-1/2 year old should have to deal with so much. Not. A. One. And yes our boys are loud and rambunctious. They are boys. And two of them are traumatized and healing. The effects of adoption on little kids can look like PTSD or ADHD sometimes. So are they normal, crazy boys or feeling the anxiety? I don't know. And all the stories about biological siblings... at this point I just feel like it is comparing apples and oranges. I don't even want to mention how it has been hard for me to attach to the boys. I don't want to hear stories of how hard it was for you to attach to your biological child. It's not the same. And I don't want to hear about your twins. This is twins on STEROIDS. Right now, we're having our external "womb time". All the conflicting emotions you have during pregnancy. All the fears and what-have-we-done's and uh-oh-we-can't-turn-back-now's. But we get to do it with everyone watching. Good times, good times.

Our 6 year old has to deal with curious/mean kids at school staring and asking questions about the munchkins' facial deformities. I appreciate the curious ones, but even I am getting tired of the mean ones.  Every single time we go to school we are confronted with both. Every time. Our 6 year old handles it with grace and strength and pride. Not a bit of embarrassment or shame. I am so proud of him. And you know, I do like the stories about how our boys are acting just like regular siblings when they tease each other and fight. I like those. Those make me feel warm and fuzzy and like we're actually heading to that normal place. Whatever that is.

Now we're dealing with some new fears with one of the munchkins. Scary stuff. New trauma territory. I don't feel like sharing that here right now. But if you are in my real-life world, I just might hit you up for an ear and a shoulder :o)

Another bloggy friend who recently adopted shared how she has been feeling disconnected and melancholy lately. She let those feelings fester and they just got worse. Now that she has opened up to the people closest to her, she is able to start healing and reconnecting. I read this blog post a couple weeks after she wrote it, but it was perfect timing for where I am at right now. Thank you, bloggy friend, for helping me too.

So I latch on to the other adoptive parents around me. They get it.

I try not to literally latch on and grab them and hug them and cry sobbing on their shoulders. (sorry about that...)

"...this phase is so very hard on everyone". Yes, ma'am. It is. I gotsta be turning to the One who can help.

(((hugs))),
chris


Isaiah 41:10  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Four Months

One-third of a year.

Four months.

That's it.

That's how long we've had both boys.

Here they are on August 1:


they have the blank, stressed-out, what-the-hell-is-happening-to-me stares

Here they are on December 1:

proud to show off his creation



boxes are fun

the brothers

no, Aunt Shel, you can NOT take him home with you

showing their true silliness

big bro' teaching them how to pose for the camera

our family ~ Yay, Team O!!!

Lord, thank you for trusting us to care for these two beautiful little boys. I am in awe of how your hand blessed us at every step of the way to bring these two home, and what an absolute perfect fit they are. You have cared for each of us through our initial transition, and you continue each day to heal the scars the boys carry with them. Thank you for weaving these munchkins into our family...

What a difference four months can make.

(((hugs))),
chris

First Day of School

I didn't cry.

I swear.

Well, maybe I got a little choked up and my eyes leaked. But just a little.

David was so cute yesterday. He could NOT understand why he had to wait to go to school. There are 55 minutes between big bro's school start time and his school start time. Let me tell ya, 55 minutes is a LOOOONG time to walk around the house wearing your backpack and talking about school.

Here he is:

Walking around the house wearing his backpack

We're finally at school

Ready for his first day of school!

Dropoff went fine. He was a little anxious/shy at first but the teaching assistant swooped him right up and took him off into the classroom. I love the teaching assistant. No phone calls all morning... but we were standing by and ready just in case! When we picked him up, we peeked into the window and he was sitting with his class on the carpet paying attention to the book the teacher was reading. Too cute... We were told that David did great ~ no problems at all ~ and that he is a joy to have in class.

The rest of the day, David bounced around the house in super-happy mode smiling and laughing and playing tricks on us. And wearing his backpack. And reading the note that his big bro left in his backpack for him that morning. I guess he really really really really likes school.

So we're at yet another new stage in our life. Our second kid is officially in school.

And yep, he sure is a joy. :o)

(((hugs))),
chris



For you, LORD, are the Most High over all the earth;
   you are exalted far above all gods. 
Let those who love the LORD hate evil,
   for he guards the lives of his faithful ones
   and delivers them from the hand of the wicked. 
Light shines on the righteous
   and joy on the upright in heart. 
Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous,
   and praise his holy name.        Psalms 97:9-12

School, Already???

When you adopt two orphans, how do you know when it is time to leave them with someone else?

Adopted kids can have BIG issues that other kids don't have. It's sometimes hard to tell when the kids are having issues related to their adoption (such as abandonment or grief or anger issues), or when they are just having regular age-appropriate developmental challenges. As adoptive parents, we are sensitive to not wanting to etch those adoption-related issues deeper into their little selves. We consciously want to nurture and heal the boys and help them to trust and attach and to feel safe and secure.

And I want to share that I am soooo not perfect at always creating this sort of nurturing environment. I have lost it a few times. Like yelled and cried and crumpled into a ball on the floor. Not exactly creating the best atmosphere where the munchkins can feel safe, eh? Not exactly being the best example of a consistent, loving mother, eh? I succumb to the pressure and stress sometimes. Adopting two is really something else.

We have heard from several friends that going from two to three kids was the most difficult jump. We laugh in the face of that and say, "HAHAHA we'll skip the jump from 1 to 2 kids, and go straight to 3! And stir in a whole mess of issues from their past! Bring it on!"

Maybe we're just crazy.

                           (cue in the "koo-koo, koo-koo" sound here)

But it feels more like this is God's idea. So we embrace all the challenges and bad moments, and get past them. I apologize and ask for my sons' forgiveness. I pray harder to love our sons the way God loves me. Unconditionally. Completely. Just as I am.

So back to how do you know when it is time to leave them with someone else?

In retrospect, I wish I would have realized that I didn't need to worry so much about leaving newborn #1 with someone we really trust. Newborns are clueless. They will mostly sleep, and cry when they are hungry or need a diaper or want to be held. Very basic and (assuming not colicky) easy to care for. Even if they need to be held the whole time you are gone, big whoop.

The munchkins, ya, not quite so clueless.

Now, with D, we are dealing with indiscriminate affection issues. That means he will be affectionate (i.e. hugging and touching) toward anyone. No fear of strangers. Which makes it easier to leave him with anyone. Because he will go to anyone. Anyone, anywhere. Grocery store, doctors' office waiting room... you get the idea. So if we leave him with people we trust, we're good to go. Not creating any deeper issues. In fact, we left him in his church class last Sunday and he did great. Teacher said he was quiet and didn't want to participate in the singing and dancing, but he seemed to be taking it all in and was content. We checked him a few times, and saw him trying to get adults' attention in the class. But he was happy. Exactly what we would expect.

We also tried to leave S in his church class on Sunday, but... well let's say it is too soon for Samuel to be left by himself in his class :o)

We don't have family very close by to help out with babysitting. We do have some close friends, and they are really more like family anyway. So last week one time and this week one time we left both boys with our good friends for an hour or two. They had played at both houses so we knew things would be familiar to them. They did great! No crying or fussing or anything! Woot woot!!!

Thank you, beautiful friends!

Our next step with Samuel is to leave him at a friends' house by himself sometime. Maybe after the holidays.

Our next step with David is school.

(insert big GULP to ward off tears here)

We had a meeting with the school district, and D qualifies for speech services. So because he is in the 3-5 year old range, he will receive those services in a school setting. Three mornings a week.

(another big GULP and blink back tears...)

So today we go to our elementary school and register David for preschool. His teacher is super-sweet, and his speech therapist used to be a preschool teacher which is a huge bonus. We feel that this is clearly where D needs to be, and we know God's hand was in this. Before the meeting, I was totally gearing up to fight for what D needs. God was already handling it, as always :o) Teacher reports that the kids in class all work together well and help each other out. We'll also visit the class today so David can meet his teacher and his new school friends.

And David is soooo excited to go to school. You should see how happy he is when we talk about it.

I'll let you know how the first day goes...

(((hugs))),
chris

Gratitude

We had our first Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday, so it feels like the "holiday season" is upon us already! Woo hoo!

Our Thanksgiving holiday gives us a reminder to pause and to be grateful for all of our blessings. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the difficulties and stress and busyness of everyday life. So many times when I have felt  like our situation is too hard, in those "Why me?" moments, God gives me shots of perspective. He lets me see the joyful part of our lives. He brings someone else's tragedy or truly difficult situation to my attention~someone else who needs prayers. The Lord reminds me that He's always with me.

And sometimes He hits me upside the head to bring me back around.

I find when I take a step back and look at my life, there is so much to be grateful for, both big and little things. I just wanted to share part of my list here. I am grateful for:

• having God in my life.
• my husband and I having God at the center of our marriage and our family.
• my husband, who is one amazing man. He loves me completely.
• our biological son, and the experience of bringing him into the world. Wow, that was cool.
• our two adopted sons, and the experience of bringing them into our family. ...What a long, strange trip it has been...
• God's fingerprint on every part of the munchkins' adoptions.
• the joyful noise of three loud boys in the house.
• the joyful lack of noise when three boys are sleeping at night :o)
• hugs.
• my mom, who is one of the most kind and generous people I know.
• my sister, and our relationship being closer than ever. I love ya, sista. You are the reason that I never wanted Josh to be an "only".
• my dad. I miss you. Even though your disease made my childhood not so fun, it did shape who I am today. You would have been sober 26 years this year, Daddio...
• my family, and my in-laws. They are the coolest.
• a strong, healthy body.
• hearing the wind blow through the leaves in the trees.
• popcorn.
• answered prayers.
• my friends, both past and present. I have been and am truly blessed by each of you.
• music and "dance parties".
• hugs.
• kisses.
• snow and rainbows and sunshine and thunderstorms.
• a house to live in and plenty of food to eat.
• unanswered prayers.
• sunrises and sunsets.
• choices.
• our garden (aka Chris' therapy room).
• hugs.
• my husband coming home safely every day after work.
• my husband having a job he loves.
• our neighbors.
• dogs and cats.
• time I spend with the critters at the wildlife rehab center.
• emotions - all of them.
• jellybeans.
• hugs.

(((hugs))),
chris


Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.     Colossians 3:15-17

Joshua

I am still madly in love with this little boy:

Joshua's 1st Grade School Picture

Our #1 son, Joshua, is a strong, understanding, loving boy. I am so proud of him. Life hasn't always been easy in our house and we've had our challenges, but Josh has always taken things in stride. He is flexible and understanding and forgiving. He always tries his best at whatever he does. He is so smart: he's reading around a 2nd-3rd grade level and his comprehension is great. His math ability is advanced for a 1st grader, and he enjoys non-fiction books. He loves learning. He is also active, and is doing awesome in his swimming lessons and at riding his two-wheeler bike. He has enjoyed T-ball and basketball. He will start basketball again in January, and will do T-ball next summer.

He still has an addiction to Legos.

Joshua is a sweet boy. He needs his snuggle time. Like NEEDS it or things just ain't right. He received a character award at school last week. He lit UP when he saw all of us walk in the auditorium. Look at him in his light blue uniform shirt wearing his school ID around his neck ~ he's such a big kid. His teacher is the blonde and she has been such a blessing to Josh. Check out the picture:

Thank you, Lord, thank you thankyouthankyouthankyou for giving us this little boy to care for and to love and to raise. I promise to do my best as his mother. Thank you for blessing me with the experience of carrying him in my womb and birthing him and nursing him. It was incredible. It still is incredible watching him grow.

Somewhere along the way, somewhere between Surgery Day and Bye-Bye-to-the-No-No's Day, somewhere in there something clicked and he really REALLY loves his brothers now. They became HIS brothers. He claimed them. It's so cool. We never ever wanted Josh to be an only child, and he's not anymore. And he knows it.

(((hugs))),

chris

2 Corinthians 13:11  Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

Check out our Munchkins

But first, a question for you that has been boggling my mind:

How do bloggers with multiple children find time to blog??? I follow several blogs of people with four to seven children and they blog almost daily. I am super-impressed. And I love their blogs. Maybe their children sleep longer than for 20-30 minute increments :o)  Or maybe their computers don't take 20 minutes to load a web page.

Someone tell my husband there are faster computers now ;o)

Anyhoo, I digress...

Gotta type fast before the next one wakes up.

Here are the munchkins and big bro' too:

Crazy Hair Day at Josh's school

So of course the other ones had green hair all day

#2 and #3 were a big hit at the surgeon's office at their followup visit that day :o)



We LOOOVE noodles ~ in the bowl, on the table, in our drink, on the floor, in our hair...

The leaning tower of David ~ it stayed like that for an hour until Baba got home from work.

Our trip to the Pumpkin Ranch

feeding the goats

I can't believe how big #1 is.

belly buttons!!!



First snow of the year ~ almost a foot of snow! It was 80 degrees two days ago... gotta love Colorado!

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

 (((hugs))),
chris


Glory and honor to God forever and ever. He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God. Amen.   1 Timothy 1:17

Inquiring Minds...

I have heard this question (or a version of it) a lot, "Are the boys done with surgeries now?"

Oh, no, my friend. Oh, no.

And that question is followed up with some version of, "How many more surgeries?" or "What else needs to be fixed?"

Do we know how many or what kinds of surgeries they will need? Nope.

Sorry to be vague. It is a kind of "wait and see" process. I think we'll only know what should be the next step as we go along.

The boys just had their first surgery. We only know what is next. Samuel will have his full lip repair done in about 6 months. That means they line everything up and attach all the muscles under his lip. He doesn't look much different now from the front (you should see the roof of his mouth though :) it's very amazing and exciting), but he should after the next surgery. With David, we wait for him to grow and then the doc will attempt to close up the top of his mouth (his hard palate). How long will that take? Who knows. How about we evaluate again in 6 months. I predict that David's palate will take several surgeries to close.

I'm not being pessimistic, just being realistic. Wouldn't it be a pleasant surprise to only have one surgery to close up David's palate, eh?

I also predict one more lip revision for David. I double-checked with my crystal ball on this one :o)   I think there is still a loose muscle in there that needs to be fixed. Perhaps it was fixed this last surgery, but a flying book or no-nos rubbing on his face made it detach...

Once the lips and roofs of the mouth are closed up, and the boys are talking more clearly, we'll be able to see ~ or rather hear ~ if their soft palate is working properly. Your soft palate is the flappy part at the back of your throat that keeps you from sounding like Nasal-Nelly all the time. You need to close your soft palate to make certain sounds when you speak, especially the plosives like "b" and "p". If the boys can't seem to do this, they can be evaluated to find out the reason. I think they can put some sort of camera in their nose and take a look at what might be causing the trouble ~ whether the soft palate just isn't moving (velopharangeal incompetence) or it isn't long enough (velopharangeal insufficiency).

If their soft palate isn't closing because it is not big enough, then they will need that fixed surgically. I think there are two ways to do this. The docs can either reconstruct the soft palate or make a "speed bump" out of tissue so that the soft palate can close. I'm not sure at what age this would happen... so I'll guess around 5-6ish.

After their permanent teeth come in, they will need a bone graft in their upper teethridge (the alveolar ridge). I think the docs usually take bone from the hip to do this. All kids with clefts that go up into the roof of their mouth need this, since there is a split in their gumline. I have heard this surgery falls into the "not fun" category just like the hard palate surgery... ouch...

As they grow, we'll see if their jaw and upper teethridge are growing at the same pace. Sometimes the upper teethridge doesn't grow fully with all the stuff that's happenin' in there, so surgery is needed to line the top and bottom up. I think that happens later, maybe in the late teen years when they are at their adult size.

And all along the way we'll keep an eye on their ears in case they need new ear tubes.

And fistulas will not be our friends. Those mean more surgeries. We love our plastic surgeon, but not that much...

So that's surgery-land as I know it.

I bet I got something wrong will learn more as we go along.

I have to figure out a short and sweet answer to the question, "Are the boys done with surgeries now?"

Ask me when they are in high school and we'll have a better idea :o)

(((hugs))),
chris


Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.   1 Peter 5:7

Helicoptering

WE'RE SURVIVING!

We're doing it! Everyone is getting fed (even the dog). The house is being semi-maintained. The kids are (relatively) clean and they are happy at least half of the time. Not counting the hours when they are sleeping.

Half is better than where we were last week :o)

Last Thursday we went to see the doc for the post-surgery followup visit. I am happy to announce that we are holding together at the seams! The doc said that if all stitches are still holding in a month, then he will call the surgery a success. So we're not out of the danger zone yet. We are still concerned that Samuel's lip might pop, but so far so good!

Samuel's hands are venturing toward his mouth more... David hates having his nose splint put in... Both boys are waking up multiple times a night and someone is up usually every hour or hour and a half ~ probably a combination of pain and trying to sleep while wearing their uncomfortable no-nos... It is nerve-wracking watching the boys play and worrying that they might fall or bump their faces with a toy that is being swung around or stick a finger in and pop a palate or throw something at brother...

I dislike being Helicopter Parent.

We would dislike having to redo a surgery more.

So be a Helicopter Parent, I must.

Although in spite of my Helicopter-Parent-ishness, last week Samuel flung a book that hit David square in his lip then an hour later David kicked Samuel square in his lip. Helllloooooo Tums! Thank you, Lord, for keeping their faces together in all their rough-and-tumble boyishness! Ugh.

Good thing they are so darn cute.

And good thing we are blessed with a never-ending supply of coffee.

Thanks again for all the prayers. God is listening. He has us wrapped up in a great big bear hug right now.

(((hugs))),
chris


The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth.   Psalm 145:18

Welcome to No-No Land

The boys are feeling a little better and starting to smile more :o)

Samuel started smiling his big huge smile again on Monday, and this is when his lip started bleeding. We're concerned that he is coming apart at the seams. There's nothing we can do about it, says the doctor. Our follow-up appointment is tomorrow so we'll have doc look at it then.

Both munchkins are also touching their faces more, so they are wearing their no-nos more. It has been a crack a beer open at 9am kinda day rough day, so I don't have very many words. Enjoy the pictures!

(((hugs))),
chris

What are YOU lookin' at?

Capturing the moment of #1 and #2 playing together

#2 and #3 and their new best friends, the no-nos

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.   Psalm 143:8

Happy 2nd Birthday, Samuel!!!

Samuel enjoyed his first birthday celebration turning 2!!!

What's this???

Power tools ~ what every kid needs

Big brother #1 helping open presents

Big brother #2 enjoying Sammy's musical birthday card

My four guys playing with the tool bench

It was a fun day for Samuel ~ (just about as rootin'-tootin' fun as three days post-surgery and a liquid diet can be anyway  :o)    Samuel enjoyed all his toys, but wasn't a fan of the chocolate milkshakes we had to celebrate his birthday. Jason took them outside to throw water balloons around, and that is always fun!

His two big brothers both ended up crying because they did not get any presents, and because Samuel got his choice of his toys to play with. It will take time for the three to learn that each of them will get their "special day".

There were bittersweet moments for me... I kept thinking about the day that Samuel was born. How was the pregnancy and delivery? What is his China mom like? His China dad and their family situation? Are their hearts still breaking because they had to make the decision to leave little Samuel so he could have a chance at life? I wish I could send them an email so I could tell them what a sweet, funny, smart little boy he is. I wish I could send them a video so they could see his beautiful face and how he walks and talks and what his voice sounds like. I wish I could ask them so many questions...

               I wish they could know how much we love him.

So I pray for them. I pray that they feel peace about their decision. I pray that they are happy and healthy and having a good life. We will never forget them.

Happy Birthday, sweet, sweet little Samuel. We are so blessed to have you and we love you!

(((hugs))),
chris



You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.    Matthew 5:14-16

We're Home!

We've been home for a full day. Sorry still no pictures to share - just not enough time to post them :-)  We're so happy to be home, but it is aLOT of work. Thankfully, we mentally prepared for the changes the boys would experience, so nothing is a surprise or unexpected.

Remember that while you read, please. Nothing is a surprise or unexpected. I'm just sharing our real life here and keeping it real.

The boys have regressed a bit. They are once again both super-duper-needy. Of course the munchkins want to be comforted by us all the time since they feel so crummy.

How is David doing?

David has been waking up at night crying and screaming again. He seems really afraid and anxious especially at night. He doesn't like to swallow. I think it is a combination of pain and things in there just feel so different. We are keeping him on pain meds, but he doesn't need them exactly right on time ~ we can stretch out the time between meds for him. His voice sounds about the same. So far he doesn't need to wear his no-no's (arm restraints) all the time. He seems to understand that he shouldn't touch his face and mouth. He wears no-no's when he sleeps and when we're in the car.

How is Samuel doing?

Samuel is swallowing better than David, surprisingly, since he should be in alot more pain. We are keeping Sammy on pain meds religiously every 4 hours. He starts fussing almost right on time, so we make sure we are staying ahead of the pain. Samuel doesn't try to touch his face yet, but I predict that he'll wear his no-no's most of the time as he feels better. One finger in his mouth could pop his stitches and ruin the surgery. His voice sounds so much different and he speaks more clearly. That part has been really cool.

What about these no-no's?

The boys are cooperative when we put the no-no's on. I'm waiting for the munchkins to use their no-no's as weapons on each other...

What about eating?

Mealtimes are a trip. David is on a pureed-type diet. We are learning it is much easier to keep him happy. We've got more choices for what we can feed him. Samuel is on a liquid diet. He doesn't like sweets very much, so it's been tough to figure out what to feed him. Pediasure is very sweet. Most smoothies are pretty sweet. Sometimes he wants broth, sometimes not. He hasn't wanted any milk yet. We usually have to prepare a few selections for the munchkins each mealtime before we find something they like. This means we present one thing at the table and if it bombs we run to the kitchen to figure something else out while the unhappy munchkin screams and/or whines. We have to feed both boys because they can't put spoons in their mouths. They can use a cup by themselves, but they don't want to do that for very long. I suspect this is mostly because their upper lips hurt, and partially because they want us to take care of them. Ya, mealtime is a trip.

Are they taking medicine?

The boys have four medicines each. Two are taken every four hours, one is taken every six hours, and one is taken twice a day. I made a chart to keep track. We have a cup full of syringes on the counter.

How is Josh doing?

Josh has been a wonderful big brother. I haven't been worried about him being too rough with the boys, and he's been really helpful. My (Chris') mom has been here to take care of Josh while we were at the hospital, and now she is taking care of all of us again.

                                                         Thanks, Mom!

How do they look?

Their faces are swollen. They look like they hurt. They each have four or five steri-strips across their upper lip. You can see stitches in David's upper lip, and Samuel's 3 lip parts are swollen in 3 big bumps. You can still see Samuel's tooth that was on his funky lip-bump. Samuel's steri-strips look like they are pulled tight. David has a nose splint sewn into his nose. You can see the two plastic round pieces in his nostrils, and little dots across the bridge of his nose where the nose splint is sewn in. They both still have crusty blood in places.

Despite all the challenges they have right now in their little lives, overall, the boys are doing a-ma-zing! We see their happy and content and silly little personalities coming back slowly. They are little troopers!

And even though this has been incredibly stressful for our whole family, I do believe that having both surgeries on the same day was the way to go. No, it isn't easy for any of us. Yes, I will still worry and be stressed out way more than I should. It just forces us to lean harder on God for His strength and grace and peace. He brought us to these beautiful, perfect little boys. We still know that this is His grand plan for our lives. We'll just trust that God will bring us through all these challenges.

He always does.



Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”     John 6:35-40

We are going home!!!!!!!

Chat at you from home!!!!! Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes!!!! (((hugs))), Chris & Jason

Good Morning from the Hospital

It's about 10am, and the boys are awake and happy enough finally to color with crayons in their coloring books. Praise God!

Last night was sort of long. Jason ended up spending the night. There would have been no other way to be happy and restful last night without both of us here. Jason slept in bed with Samuel, and I slept in bed with David. The rooms here are set up for one patient, so our two adult-size beds and two IV poles and extra monitor pole and two tray tables is quite cozy  :o)

Samuel slept pretty well. He is not a fan of the nurses and doctors, so when they come around he gets upset. We are keeping him on his pain meds even if he's not grumpy, just to keep ahead of the pain. He's not drinking much this morning, so it's too early to tell if he can go home today. He is still spunky little Sammy.

David slept not as well last night. Until about 1:30am, he kept waking up about every 20 minutes or so. He seemed afraid and anxious, but would calm quickly after I reassured him that I was still there. We think he has memories of his first surgery over in China, and we have no idea how that experience was. After 1:30am, David and I got longer blocks of sleep and we were even able to stretch out time between his pain meds. This morning he ate a full bowl of Cream of Wheat and is slowly drinking apple juice. It is possible that David can be released today. He already asked me for a few kisses this morning. Still sweet little David.

(((hugs))),
chris & jason

The Party's Ooooverrrr!

David is back in our room now sleeping a sound morphine-induced sleep. ZZzzzzzzz

The doc was not able to close his hard palate. David's soft palate was closed up (that's the part toward the back of the mouth that closes off your nose when you talk so you don't sound all nasally).

Nasally. That's a technical term that I just made up.

David will still sound nasally and be hard to understand when he talks since his hard palate is open. The doc said David will have to grow more before we're able to close his very wiiiiiiiide hard palate. I have a feeling we're looking at multiple surgeries to close his hard palate. The doc also did some work on David's lip and nose. The specific thing worth mentioning is that David's upper lip muscles were not attached at all when then did the lip repair in China. These muscles are now attached. I think the little man already looks a little different in his nose/mouth area even with the tape and stitches and swelling and blood goop.

Samuel is still sleep sitting in Jason's lap. He will be the munchkin in the most pain.

Please pray for a quiet night and that we can keep on top of the pain meds.

Love & (((hugs))),
chris & jason

One down, one to go

Samuel's surgery went well. It went five hours, and the doc was able to close up his palate. They did the lip adhesion too which means they put Sammy's lip parts together. His lip doesn't look a whole lot better now because it is pulled pretty tight. It will look better over time, and the next surgery (his lip repair) will fix him up so he looks even better.

Sammy is still oh so uber-cute you wouldn't believe it :o)

David is in now and we don't know how long his surgery will take. The doc planned for about 4 hours and they started around 1pm. The reason we don't know how long is the doc doesn't know how much tissue they have to work with in his palate until he gets in to take a look. If there is lots of tissue to work with, then the doc may be able to close up the whole palate and that will take longer. If there isn't alot to work with, then they will be done sooner. That's the palate part. If he does do a lip repair, we're not sure how much the doc can get done as far as cleaning up scar tissue, redoing his muscle connections, and lining things up better. So who knows how long that will take.

David has charmed and won over the entire surgical staff...

OK, time for more pain meds... then Mama is going to try to nap. HAHAHAHA

(((HUGS))),
CHRIS

oops caps lock issues with my one finger typing hehe

Happy Surgery Day...

We are going to use our blog to update all our peeps who are thinking of us and praying for the munchkins while we're here at the hospital.

First, we are humbled by all who are praying for the boys. Thanks and love and hugs to you all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This morning started early for all of us. I woke up Samuel last night at 10:30pm to get some food in him. He ate only a little bit, then had a little juice at 4:30am today. He seemed OK and not starving this morning.

David ate this morning at 4:15am. He didn't eat much, unfortunately, and he is hungry already. Thankfully he can have clear liquids up until about 10:00am, so hopefully he will be happy with that.

Samuel just went in for surgery. When we all went back to the prep area, Samuel started screaming and crying. He saw plastic bins (like the ones the phlebotomist has the vials in at our lab) and he absolutely freaked out. (side note: I don't know if I shared that he has had two blood draws with no luck because he was so freaked out and traumatized by the first evil-phlebotomist who dug around in his arm for way too long) He was inconsolable for a while, and eventually came out of it when Jason held him. When the anesthesiologist came in, he gave Samuel a mask with bubble gum scent inside. We played with it for a while, and he put on a surgical glove, and Jason made a surgical glove balloon... He seemed OK at that point with the docs and nurses walking in and out (thank you Lord). Samuel seemed happy when Jason carried him back, and only fussed a little when the mask was on him and blowing in his face. We waited in the waiting area for 20 minutes, and the ENT came out and said he was done with his part... so far so good!

Now we can just hang out for about two hours until they need to prep David.

Hang out and grow an ulcer relax and keep David distracted from his growling tummy. It is a beautiful day for a walk. We even brought David's hot pink stroller we bought in China :-)

We are blessed with amazing people taking care of our munchkins today: the anesthesiologist, the plastic surgeon, the ENT, and each of the nurses we saw this morning.

More to come in a few hours when we know more...

Have a beautiful day,
(((hugs))),
chris

T minus 3

OK, I had to do another T-minus post, you know, since I got gypped out of T-minus posts before we left for China. Remember? We went from T-minus 10 to T-minus 3, like, overnight... Actually, literally, overnight. Just when you think you have 9 days to get ready for an adoption trip, surprise! you're leaving in 3 days :-)

All in God's absolutely, perfectly, magnificently, perfect timing.

So today we're 3 days out from surgeries. Jason and I are a little nervous. Nervous about this upcoming mouth-reconstruction-type surgery, nervous about the painful recovery, and a little nervous about the illness that is still visiting at our house. The cold/cough situation does seem to be waning a bit. David still has a cough when he first wakes up, but he doesn't cough much throughout the day. Status quo for #1 and #3, so they are no worse off. And still no fevers.

Thank you all for your prayers. God is listening :-)

Here are a few pictures from our picnic yesterday (including the new pic at the top of our blog). Have a beautiful day!

(((hugs))),
chris

2 Corinthians 6:3-4  We try to live in such a way that no one will be hindered from finding the Lord by the way we act, and so no one can find fault with our ministry. In everything we do we try to show that we are true ministers of God.

Surgery Update

One week from today. That's when the munchkins' surgeries are scheduled.
I am stressing about this waaaaaay too much. I am not in control. I am not in control. I am not in control.

OK, not doing well turning it over to the One who is in charge.

Let me back up for you. When we scheduled these surgeries, we decided that having the surgeries on the same day is best for our family. Some people think we're nuts, and some people are super-supportive. It seems the super-supportive people are the ones who have done this sort of thing themselves, or who know us best, or who work at the surgeon's office. Anyhoo, the surgeon and the ENT were available together on September 28th so we grabbed that date up. The operating room peeps needed to juggle some surgery rooms around, but they made it work and got us in. Now the next day that both docs were available was November 22nd. So IF we can't do surgeries next Wednesday, September 28th, we're looking at postponing for months. And who knows if November 22nd is still available for both docs. And wouldn't it be not fun to be recovering around the holidays?

The reason it is best for the munchkins to do the surgery sooner is this: the sooner we close up their palates, the sooner we can start speech therapy so they can start learning to use their mouths correctly to eat and speak intelligibly. In the U.S., we do cleft lip surgery around 1-3 months old, and the palate surgery is done around maybe 7-9 months old. Yes, the munchkins are still young and they should do just fine, but David is already three years past when U.S. docs would have closed up that palate. That's alot of time in kid-years.

The reason I am stressing: we have a cold and cough living in our house. Great time to visit, you $@*)!# stinkin' cold/cough! Josh had the cough first, and he seems to be doing better already. He still has a runny nose. Now David has the cough, and today he is the one I am most worried about. Samuel has a runny nose, but I'm not sure that is anything new and he isn't coughing yet.

Please pray for the munchkins to get healthy. At least healthy enough to have surgery next Wednesday.

In the meantime, I'll work on trusting that it all will happen according to God's plan. I know it always does.


The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

Psalm 28:7

Happy Sunday from the Munchkins

Jason has been working alot lately, so we have been having fun without him!

The other day I found the munchkins in the backyard eating pears. We have pear trees, so this isn't so unusual.

Except for the fact that the munchkins are really short.

And the pears are up high.

So the pears that they were nibbling on were the ones half-eaten by the squirrels and sitting on the ground. Gross. Very, very gross. I am sure they ate grosser things in China, but still I threw those pears away and gave them fresh ones off the tree. Here they are enjoying the clean, fresh pears:

Here they are after a bath and wearing the very cute towels handmade by Great Aunt Ellen:

One day, we decided to paint. With our feet:

Another day, I found the boys in Jason's closet trying on his shoes and boots. Check out our cowboy. Very Colorado-ish, wouldn't you say?

And little Samuel was buried by his brother David. Buried under a bunch of toys:

Life is good.

(((hugs))),
chris


Psalm 118:24  This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.

Falling in Love

It's strange - this adoption thing. You wait and you wonder as you go through this long process that you would like to have control over but never do. God reminds you how much you are NOT in control. He reminds you that HE is in control over and over. And Satan attacks and you need to lean in and stay focused on the One who is in charge. Then you get there and meet your child and it's strange.

Weird. Odd. Like nothing I could have imagined.

Maybe because this child who you know is yours, who you have been so excited to meet, who you have been praying for, dreaming about, who you take the teeny bits of information given to you and try to guess at who they are, and you know the only way you EVER could have been matched with this child was by the grace of God because really it is like finding a needle in a haystack as they say... but when you meet your child, he is still a stranger to you.

Does he like broccoli or pasta or hamburgers? Does he like his back rubbed? Does he like to be outside? Will he be able to eat OK? Will he freak out in the car seat? Does he like Play-Doh or puzzles or blocks? Is his hearing OK? Does he like baths? Will he need to be carried everywhere? How long before we can go out in public or visit family and friends or go to church?

Then they say, "Here you go. OK, fly away now!" and you take this little stranger who you can't communicate with on a loooooooong airplane ride, and the next thing you know... the little stranger is walking around in your house and it feels like babysitting.

Like a really long babysitting-gig-from-hell that you can't get away from... I tell you coming home ain't no picnic with four people in the house having jetlag, and the munchkins both being (understandably) EXTREMELY needy trying to adjust to their new lives while grieving the loss of their China life. And the big brother being (understandably) EXTREMELY needy since he missed his mom & dad so much and now he's shipped off to 1st grade. Alot to handle for the munchkins, as well as the parents and the big brother. It definitely falls in the category of "not fun".

It's a process, I guess, this "falling in love" stuff. I am thankful for another blogger who adopted two and kept it real. She shared how incredibly hard it is, and that she does have a favorite. I can totally see that. My favorite newly-adopted-orphan-child bounces back and forth between the two. I hope the munchkins can't tell.

I have been practicing the "fake it till you feel it" method of loving and parenting our new sons. (If you disagree with this, well then I say you've never been here and please kindly keep it to yourself :-)  What I have been doing is:
I tell the munchkins over and over, "I love you!"
and I pick them up
...and snuggle them
.....and comfort them
.......and play with them
.........and tickle them
...........and we all laugh
.............and you know what?

I fell in love.

(((hugs))),
chris

John 14:23  Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.

Fun & Haircuts

I'm not feelin' blahblahbloggy today... Enjoy the pictures!

This water mat was fun then big brother turned the water all the way up and made it SUPERFUN!

My guys eating my favorite ice cream ~ peppermint!

#1 before

Seriously. Can we not get a good normal picture of the "after"?

#2 before haircut and very VERY excited to have Mama cut his hair

#2 after ~ gotta love the cheeseball smile :)

#3 before ~ he has no idea what's coming...

Mama, why did you "clipper" me???

(((hugs))),
chris